1 00:00:02,308 --> 00:00:07,308 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:08,685 --> 00:00:11,251 [Adam] Our dad could have beat the shit out of your dad. 3 00:00:11,253 --> 00:00:13,386 I'm not bragging, it's just a fact. 4 00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,555 You may have heard that the human head weighs 11 pounds 5 00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,324 and the neck shouldn't be able to support it. 6 00:00:17,326 --> 00:00:19,727 Our dad's mustache alone weighed 12, 7 00:00:19,729 --> 00:00:23,229 and his neck didn't give a shit, because it was basically a third bicep. 8 00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:24,599 He drove an '89 350. 9 00:00:24,601 --> 00:00:26,466 Got ten miles to the gallon, 10 00:00:26,468 --> 00:00:28,903 but he offset his carbon footprint by growing our mom 11 00:00:28,905 --> 00:00:33,340 a fresh bouquet of flowers every single day. 12 00:00:33,342 --> 00:00:34,642 I still drive it. 13 00:00:34,644 --> 00:00:36,343 Him and our mom had three boys. 14 00:00:36,345 --> 00:00:39,212 Adam, that's me, Tim, and Kevin. 15 00:00:39,214 --> 00:00:40,480 With our powers combined, 16 00:00:40,482 --> 00:00:41,949 we never once got him to the ground, 17 00:00:41,951 --> 00:00:45,454 and Tim was a high school state champion wrestler in junior high. 18 00:00:46,188 --> 00:00:48,923 Every summer, we'd go to the cabin he built with his bare hands, 19 00:00:48,925 --> 00:00:51,224 because tools are for cowards, 20 00:00:51,226 --> 00:00:52,893 and he showed us everything there was to know 21 00:00:52,895 --> 00:00:53,796 about being a man. 22 00:00:54,998 --> 00:00:58,264 Building fires, chopping down trees, subduing bears. 23 00:00:58,266 --> 00:00:59,532 You know, the basics. 24 00:00:59,534 --> 00:01:01,534 He called it "Man Camp", 25 00:01:01,536 --> 00:01:04,705 and then when I was 16 years old, 26 00:01:04,707 --> 00:01:06,841 he ran into the one thing that he couldn't take down 27 00:01:06,843 --> 00:01:09,244 with his world class ax throwing abilities. 28 00:01:09,979 --> 00:01:10,880 He got cancer. 29 00:01:11,914 --> 00:01:14,314 And within months, 30 00:01:14,316 --> 00:01:16,284 the greatest man to walk the planet was gone. 31 00:01:17,787 --> 00:01:20,688 Now, your dad might still be alive, 32 00:01:20,690 --> 00:01:23,256 but if they ever do throw down in Heaven, 33 00:01:23,258 --> 00:01:25,660 or you know, I don't how all that's going to work, 34 00:01:25,662 --> 00:01:26,461 but if they do, 35 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:31,231 our dad will absolutely beat the shit out of your dad. 36 00:01:31,233 --> 00:01:33,734 ♪ This is true when I see your face It pops up ♪ 37 00:01:33,736 --> 00:01:35,703 ♪ And I don't know what to do ♪ 38 00:01:35,705 --> 00:01:38,005 ♪ Because your beauty it makes me a dance ♪ 39 00:01:38,007 --> 00:01:41,541 ♪ Just know that I adore you ♪ 40 00:01:41,543 --> 00:01:43,643 ♪ So I'll sing it through the air ♪ 41 00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:45,614 ♪ I'll sing it through the air ♪ 42 00:01:49,852 --> 00:01:51,186 Can we not do this today? 43 00:01:53,022 --> 00:01:54,755 Stop licking it, eat it. 44 00:01:54,757 --> 00:01:56,724 [giggling and babbling] 45 00:01:56,726 --> 00:01:59,392 If you like the taste, then put it all the way in. 46 00:01:59,394 --> 00:02:02,562 If you like the way it tastes, then put it in your belly. 47 00:02:02,564 --> 00:02:04,965 Look at me, you eat that oatmeal right now. 48 00:02:04,967 --> 00:02:07,634 You put it in your mouth and you swallow it or I will take your blankie 49 00:02:07,636 --> 00:02:10,403 and I will burn it like Captain von Trapp burning the Nazi flag. 50 00:02:10,405 --> 00:02:12,940 Do you understand? I can get rid of you in a second, bud. 51 00:02:12,942 --> 00:02:14,711 They got orphanages on every corner. 52 00:02:17,312 --> 00:02:19,479 I thought the breakfast battle would be over by now. 53 00:02:19,481 --> 00:02:21,949 Hey, is this thing ours, because I'm not, 54 00:02:21,951 --> 00:02:23,718 I'm not feeling super sure about it. 55 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:26,020 You saw him come out of me, so. 56 00:02:26,022 --> 00:02:28,791 Indeed, indeed I did. How was the gym? 57 00:02:29,424 --> 00:02:31,759 Ugh, Kristen, you know, 58 00:02:31,761 --> 00:02:34,561 the one who is only eating raw bacteria 59 00:02:34,563 --> 00:02:37,064 for three weeks to reset my vagina? 60 00:02:37,066 --> 00:02:38,933 Cornered me about her pyramid scheme again. 61 00:02:38,935 --> 00:02:41,668 - Did you get in the pyramid, babe? - No, I did not, babe. 62 00:02:41,670 --> 00:02:43,670 Babe, you got a chance to get in a pyramid, 63 00:02:43,672 --> 00:02:45,873 you get in there, you get that forbidden treasure, babe. 64 00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:47,407 Oh, you're dumb. [kissing] 65 00:02:47,409 --> 00:02:49,444 - Did you start packing for your trip yet? - Yeah. 66 00:02:50,445 --> 00:02:52,012 Yeah, yeah? 67 00:02:52,014 --> 00:02:54,547 What is the matter with you? It's Man Camp Week! 68 00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:57,918 Usually you're all like, "Oh, cook up this meat! 69 00:02:57,920 --> 00:02:59,820 Grab me a beer, scratch my balls. 70 00:02:59,822 --> 00:03:01,321 Yeah." [grunting] 71 00:03:01,323 --> 00:03:04,524 - Whoa! - Wow, that's what I'm like? 72 00:03:04,526 --> 00:03:06,127 Yeah, when you're with the your brothers, yes. 73 00:03:06,129 --> 00:03:09,329 Well, I'm just a little tired of being the only adult in the family, you know? 74 00:03:09,331 --> 00:03:11,866 It's been like babysitting the last few years. 75 00:03:11,868 --> 00:03:13,366 [robot beeping] 76 00:03:13,368 --> 00:03:15,938 Not now, Artiz, I'm trying to make a point. 77 00:03:17,907 --> 00:03:18,973 Really? 78 00:03:18,975 --> 00:03:20,875 Listen, can't you just, 79 00:03:20,877 --> 00:03:22,810 like, crack the whip and tell me I can't go? 80 00:03:22,812 --> 00:03:25,413 - Crack... the whip? - Yeah. 81 00:03:26,548 --> 00:03:28,748 - You know, the whip. - Oh, ugh, mm. 82 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:29,784 Lots of wives do it. 83 00:03:29,786 --> 00:03:30,885 You're disgusting and no, 84 00:03:30,887 --> 00:03:33,988 I'm not going to let you end your 12 year tradition 85 00:03:33,990 --> 00:03:37,357 - of celebrating your dad's life at the cabin, okay? - [Adam sighs] 86 00:03:37,359 --> 00:03:38,326 Now, I'm going to go shower. 87 00:03:39,128 --> 00:03:41,561 I've had a morning, okay? Clean this up, please. 88 00:03:41,563 --> 00:03:42,863 - Thank you. - Okay, bye. 89 00:03:42,865 --> 00:03:44,733 - Bye, I love you. - Love you. 90 00:03:45,367 --> 00:03:47,802 Oh, hey, babe? Uh, we got to burn Max's blankie. 91 00:03:47,804 --> 00:03:49,669 I can't afford to make another idle threat. 92 00:03:49,671 --> 00:03:51,073 - Have fun. Bye. - Bye. 93 00:03:55,044 --> 00:03:56,442 Don't get too drunk. 94 00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:57,814 - I will! - Okay. 95 00:03:59,916 --> 00:04:03,052 Oh, God, okay. Uh, yeah. 96 00:04:04,419 --> 00:04:05,654 Yep, okay. 97 00:04:06,388 --> 00:04:07,520 There... there you go. 98 00:04:07,522 --> 00:04:09,890 ♪ I'm amazing, I'm the one ♪ 99 00:04:09,892 --> 00:04:11,125 ♪ Yeah, you looking the best ♪ 100 00:04:11,127 --> 00:04:13,426 ♪ Yeah, you looking at number one ♪ 101 00:04:13,428 --> 00:04:15,428 ♪ I got to tell 'em, got to tell 'em, got to tell 'em ♪ 102 00:04:15,430 --> 00:04:17,131 ♪ Yeah, you looking at fire ♪ 103 00:04:17,133 --> 00:04:19,799 ♪ Caught you looking yeah, no cap with that ♪ 104 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:22,435 ♪ Because when the bees to the knees like 100 degrees ♪ 105 00:04:22,437 --> 00:04:24,573 - ♪ It's the B to the EST ♪ - [knocking] 106 00:04:26,608 --> 00:04:29,442 - [Adam coughing] - What the hell do you want, man? It's like 10:00 in the morning. 107 00:04:29,444 --> 00:04:32,512 Yeah, man, that's not early, so is Tim around? 108 00:04:32,514 --> 00:04:34,716 - Tim, resident Tim? - Yeah. 109 00:04:35,450 --> 00:04:37,151 Yeah, nobody comes in just to see Tim. 110 00:04:37,153 --> 00:04:38,618 Not nobody, not no how. 111 00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:40,054 Yeah, man, I'm his older brother, so. 112 00:04:40,056 --> 00:04:43,059 Oh, bro, why didn't you say so? Come on in. 113 00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:51,831 This guy from the President Tim poster. 114 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:55,437 Hey, man, I saw a picture of your wife. 115 00:04:57,772 --> 00:04:59,507 - Did you? - Yeah, it's right there. 116 00:04:59,909 --> 00:05:03,443 It's actually a picture of you and your wife. 117 00:05:03,445 --> 00:05:06,013 Not a day goes by that I don't regret 118 00:05:06,015 --> 00:05:07,714 letting that little one off the hook. 119 00:05:07,716 --> 00:05:09,582 I, I don't know what you mean, what? 120 00:05:09,584 --> 00:05:13,755 Me and Katie, we were a... a thing. 121 00:05:14,556 --> 00:05:15,690 All right, what about this? 122 00:05:16,125 --> 00:05:18,591 ♪ Let's get the starty parted! ♪ 123 00:05:18,593 --> 00:05:20,428 - [slaps belly] - ♪ Ooh, ooh! ♪ 124 00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:25,099 Eric Brinkerhoff? 125 00:05:25,101 --> 00:05:26,701 In the flesh. 126 00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:33,408 [tearing the picture] 127 00:05:35,644 --> 00:05:38,845 Katie Baker is married... to me. 128 00:05:38,847 --> 00:05:40,182 [door opens] 129 00:05:40,983 --> 00:05:42,182 - [Adam] Tim. - Adam! 130 00:05:42,184 --> 00:05:43,750 - Bro! - Broski. 131 00:05:43,752 --> 00:05:45,685 - Broski? - Brocahontas. 132 00:05:45,687 --> 00:05:47,654 - Brocapontas. - Brontosaurus. 133 00:05:47,656 --> 00:05:49,589 - Brohannesburg. - Bone browth. 134 00:05:49,591 --> 00:05:51,758 - Saxobrone. - Dearly bebrothed. 135 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,227 - Broner. - Potato potahbro. 136 00:05:53,229 --> 00:05:56,163 - Bronze Julius. - Broreos and milk. 137 00:05:56,165 --> 00:05:59,001 ♪ Brone, brone, brone, brone ♪ 138 00:05:59,834 --> 00:06:03,770 [Adam and Tim together] ♪ Brone, brone, brone ♪ 139 00:06:03,772 --> 00:06:06,572 ♪ Brone, Brone ♪ 140 00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:11,213 ♪ Brone, Brone, Brone ♪ 141 00:06:12,781 --> 00:06:14,814 - What's up, dude? - Did you skip the party last night? 142 00:06:14,816 --> 00:06:16,649 Uh, I wasn't really in the mood to rage, 143 00:06:16,651 --> 00:06:19,752 but I saw the ladies in here and wowza, 144 00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:23,023 so I kept it to a 12-pack and hung around for a bit 145 00:06:23,025 --> 00:06:24,557 to fulfill my presidential duties, 146 00:06:24,559 --> 00:06:26,461 - look after these fine lads. - [retching] 147 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,030 I'm going to go wait in the truck. 148 00:06:30,032 --> 00:06:32,865 Cool, uh, let me grab a quick rinse, then we'll head, okay? 149 00:06:32,867 --> 00:06:34,701 - Man Camp! - [Adam] Man Camp! 150 00:06:34,703 --> 00:06:38,174 So, uh, is Katie staying home alone? 151 00:06:38,807 --> 00:06:40,977 Hey bud, why don't you rinse off when we get there? 152 00:06:41,810 --> 00:06:43,177 I'm going to get out of here. 153 00:06:43,179 --> 00:06:46,013 So you, uh, planning on graduating anytime soon? 154 00:06:46,015 --> 00:06:48,581 Or are you just going to kind of hang out, become the next-door 155 00:06:48,583 --> 00:06:50,317 - dude perving on people's family pictures? - Come on, dude. 156 00:06:50,319 --> 00:06:52,952 What do you mean "come on?" That guy was fricking perving on Katie. 157 00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:55,222 Everyone pervs on Katie, dude, it's the circle of life. 158 00:06:55,224 --> 00:06:58,691 Every... so you perv on Katie, that's something you do? 159 00:06:58,693 --> 00:07:02,262 She had, like, a baby last year, so obviously not lately, 160 00:07:02,264 --> 00:07:03,763 that'd be pretty messed up, dude. 161 00:07:03,765 --> 00:07:06,035 Besides, she family's on me. 162 00:07:07,269 --> 00:07:09,003 - Brewski? - I'm driving. 163 00:07:09,005 --> 00:07:11,271 - Right, stick shift. - I don't know, man. 164 00:07:11,273 --> 00:07:13,706 All this partying, drinking nonstop, 165 00:07:13,708 --> 00:07:15,009 different girl every week. 166 00:07:15,011 --> 00:07:16,642 At some point you're going to have to grow up. 167 00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:18,745 What, so I can get it together like you? 168 00:07:18,747 --> 00:07:21,881 Get a wife, kid, sell like two cars a month, pay taxes and shit? 169 00:07:21,883 --> 00:07:24,018 It must be pretty lonely on the top of that mountain. 170 00:07:24,020 --> 00:07:25,752 You don't pay taxes? 171 00:07:25,754 --> 00:07:28,188 I don't know, Dad, let me check with my accountant. 172 00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:29,922 Hello, Mr. Steinberg's office. 173 00:07:29,924 --> 00:07:31,924 - Yeah, I'll hold. - Dude, don't be a dick. 174 00:07:31,926 --> 00:07:34,328 Fake out, dude! It's not even a real phone, bro. 175 00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:36,263 Mom told me you were an accident. 176 00:07:36,265 --> 00:07:40,800 Well, um, life, uh... 177 00:07:40,802 --> 00:07:41,903 Finds a way. 178 00:07:42,737 --> 00:07:44,971 ♪ You're amazing, the one ♪ 179 00:07:44,973 --> 00:07:46,739 ♪ Yeah you looking at the best ♪ 180 00:07:46,741 --> 00:07:48,941 ♪ Got you, got you looking at number one ♪ 181 00:07:48,943 --> 00:07:50,843 ♪ I got to tell 'em, got to tell 'em, got to tell 'em ♪ 182 00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,280 - ♪ Yeah, you looking at fire ♪ - ♪ What you looking ♪ 183 00:07:53,282 --> 00:07:56,116 ♪ Yo, no cap with that I've got the moves ♪ 184 00:07:56,118 --> 00:07:57,685 - [knocking] - [Adam] Mom? 185 00:07:58,653 --> 00:07:59,986 [knocking] 186 00:07:59,988 --> 00:08:01,155 Mom, we're home! 187 00:08:01,157 --> 00:08:03,856 [dog barking] 188 00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:05,159 I don't see Kevin's GoPed. 189 00:08:05,161 --> 00:08:06,859 [birds chirping] 190 00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:08,228 He's living in the garage, right? 191 00:08:08,230 --> 00:08:10,698 - [knocking] - Hey, Kev, bud? 192 00:08:12,134 --> 00:08:13,735 - [knocking] - Kev? 193 00:08:15,837 --> 00:08:16,938 Where the hell is everybody? 194 00:08:18,107 --> 00:08:21,310 [airy instrumental music] 195 00:08:28,284 --> 00:08:29,782 Brave warrior Bill, 196 00:08:29,784 --> 00:08:31,385 you must journey to the Forbidden Mountain 197 00:08:31,387 --> 00:08:35,054 and save my father from the shadows of the Dark Lord. 198 00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:40,162 I will, my lady, and when I return I shall ask for your hand in marriage. 199 00:08:42,030 --> 00:08:45,667 And at that time you shall have your true reward. 200 00:08:48,270 --> 00:08:50,239 The Mighty Ax of Kabazaduil. 201 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,407 Bro, wake up dipshit! 202 00:08:53,409 --> 00:08:54,374 My lady? 203 00:08:54,376 --> 00:08:57,444 - Kevin, hello, it's Tim! - Tim? 204 00:08:57,446 --> 00:09:00,114 - Is he on drugs or something? - Let's try his, that language that he knows. 205 00:09:00,116 --> 00:09:02,014 [speaking gibberish] 206 00:09:02,016 --> 00:09:04,418 I don't actually know the language, I don't actually know. 207 00:09:04,420 --> 00:09:07,720 [speaking gibberish] 208 00:09:07,722 --> 00:09:08,721 [snapping fingers] 209 00:09:08,723 --> 00:09:11,691 Kevin, Kevin, wake up. 210 00:09:11,693 --> 00:09:13,427 He hasn't gotten any better at drawing. 211 00:09:13,429 --> 00:09:16,097 [Adam] Kevin, wake up, dude. Hey, Kev. 212 00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:19,968 Hey, bros. 213 00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:25,938 I... To what do I... I owe this... prestigious pleasure? 214 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,209 It's Man Camp week, dude. 215 00:09:28,042 --> 00:09:30,210 It's Man Camp... it's Man Camp weekend? 216 00:09:30,212 --> 00:09:33,913 Sure, uh, sure, yeah. Totes, totes knew that. 217 00:09:33,915 --> 00:09:35,650 Yeah, is... is Mom around? 218 00:09:36,418 --> 00:09:41,120 Actually, mom... Mom is, uh, let me check the planner. 219 00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,325 Oh, she said... 220 00:09:45,093 --> 00:09:48,297 Um, yes. See, a work retreat. 221 00:09:49,764 --> 00:09:50,830 A work retreat? 222 00:09:50,832 --> 00:09:53,500 Uh, yeah, something about team building exercises. 223 00:09:53,502 --> 00:09:56,403 For her business that she owns herself, 224 00:09:56,405 --> 00:09:58,104 and she doesn't have any employees? 225 00:09:58,106 --> 00:09:59,173 Mm-hmm. 226 00:09:59,175 --> 00:10:00,174 She wasn't worried at all 227 00:10:00,176 --> 00:10:02,108 about missing us on her way up to the cabin? 228 00:10:02,110 --> 00:10:04,411 Yeah, well, I'm sure she'll be here when we get back, so 229 00:10:04,413 --> 00:10:06,213 we'll see her then to say hi. 230 00:10:06,215 --> 00:10:07,314 So, how is it man? 231 00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:10,419 All moved in back at home, is it, uh, pretty nice? 232 00:10:11,119 --> 00:10:12,084 Epic. 233 00:10:12,086 --> 00:10:13,187 - Yeah? - Yeah, it's sweet. 234 00:10:13,189 --> 00:10:15,389 Um, you know, other than that 235 00:10:15,391 --> 00:10:17,125 I'm just killing it at college right now. 236 00:10:18,092 --> 00:10:19,058 Five year plan. 237 00:10:19,060 --> 00:10:20,394 I thought, uh, online college 238 00:10:20,396 --> 00:10:21,896 was like a less than two year kind of thing. 239 00:10:23,332 --> 00:10:25,299 Yeah, if you're intellectually inferior and only want one degree. 240 00:10:25,301 --> 00:10:29,902 I have four already, so we got philosophy, 241 00:10:29,904 --> 00:10:34,006 astrophysics, quantum mechanics, and home economics. 242 00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:36,343 Wow, is... is Mom paying or? 243 00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:38,177 I'm going to stop you there. Uh, she will be reimbursed. 244 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:42,148 It's all part of, you know, five year plan, so. 245 00:10:42,150 --> 00:10:43,250 You got a job then or? 246 00:10:43,252 --> 00:10:46,453 Yeah, I started my own business actually, distribution. 247 00:10:46,455 --> 00:10:48,020 Of what? 248 00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:50,122 Uh, just like, beer, wine, spirits. 249 00:10:50,124 --> 00:10:52,426 Oh, you're a liquor rep for, uh, for who? 250 00:10:52,428 --> 00:10:55,229 People that can't get it themselves, like they're either too young 251 00:10:55,231 --> 00:10:57,196 or not old enough, 252 00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:59,999 or in a lot of cases they're just born later than they should've been. 253 00:11:00,001 --> 00:11:01,501 Kevin, that's illegal, bud. 254 00:11:01,503 --> 00:11:04,170 [chuckles] Where does it say that in the Constitution? 255 00:11:04,172 --> 00:11:08,475 Because this is America and last I checked I'm American, so. 256 00:11:08,477 --> 00:11:11,445 You're selling alcohol to children, Kevin. 257 00:11:11,447 --> 00:11:13,247 Well, they identify as adults, 258 00:11:13,249 --> 00:11:16,352 so, jeez, that's insensitive. 259 00:11:17,151 --> 00:11:19,919 Hey, isn't this guy in jail for running an illegal cat fighting ring or something? 260 00:11:19,921 --> 00:11:22,389 Cats? [laughs] 261 00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:23,856 No, rabbits actually. 262 00:11:23,858 --> 00:11:25,394 It's way higher net revenue. 263 00:11:28,096 --> 00:11:28,961 [woman] Tim? 264 00:11:28,963 --> 00:11:30,129 Shit, it's Christy Borders, hide me. 265 00:11:30,131 --> 00:11:33,167 Tim, is that you? Hey, guys, it's been, like, forever. 266 00:11:33,968 --> 00:11:36,869 Tim, you look all grown up. 267 00:11:36,871 --> 00:11:40,407 What's up? Hey, Christy, we, uh, we were just about to leave, so. 268 00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:43,510 Oh, yeah? Where are you guys... oh, your little Min Camp. 269 00:11:43,512 --> 00:11:46,382 - It's called Man Camp. [chuckles] - [whispering] She's the worst. 270 00:11:47,949 --> 00:11:51,917 Uh, you know, Tim, I was cleaning out my closet recently, 271 00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:54,956 and, uh, found that love poem you wrote me. Do you remember? 272 00:11:55,424 --> 00:11:57,591 - Nope. - [Christy laughs] Oh, come on, yeah, you do. 273 00:11:57,593 --> 00:11:59,493 You wrote it in eighth grade to ask me to prom, 274 00:11:59,495 --> 00:12:01,994 and you titled it, like, "Sexy Poem." 275 00:12:01,996 --> 00:12:03,330 It sounds like a fake poem. 276 00:12:03,332 --> 00:12:05,567 Well, it's real and I found it, um... 277 00:12:06,901 --> 00:12:09,405 kind of bummed I didn't say yes seeing as how you grew up. 278 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:13,207 Well, uh, you didn't so, sucks for you I guess. 279 00:12:15,943 --> 00:12:20,281 Yeah, um, well, you guys enjoy your "Man Camp." 280 00:12:22,584 --> 00:12:23,983 Bye, Tim. 281 00:12:23,985 --> 00:12:25,521 [Adam] Really nice to see you, Christy. 282 00:12:26,655 --> 00:12:28,455 What's your deal with her, dude? 283 00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:30,657 You used to be obsessed with her when we were kids. 284 00:12:30,659 --> 00:12:33,192 Now you actually have a shot, and you're being a total douche. 285 00:12:33,194 --> 00:12:36,130 Well, now she has wooden teeth, okay? Hard pass. 286 00:12:36,665 --> 00:12:38,332 Come on, let's go. 287 00:12:38,334 --> 00:12:39,535 The ice, put it in. 288 00:12:43,572 --> 00:12:45,439 Did you guys see the way she was flirting with me? 289 00:12:45,441 --> 00:12:49,944 [twangy country music] 290 00:13:01,557 --> 00:13:04,493 ♪ Well, I got habits ♪ 291 00:13:05,561 --> 00:13:08,329 ♪ Some good, some bad ♪ 292 00:13:10,632 --> 00:13:16,403 ♪ I like to smoke and drink and see women I've never had ♪ 293 00:13:16,405 --> 00:13:19,071 [energetic dance music] 294 00:13:19,073 --> 00:13:21,040 What can I get you fine gentlemen 295 00:13:21,042 --> 00:13:22,975 this glorious post morning? 296 00:13:22,977 --> 00:13:23,779 Post. 297 00:13:25,246 --> 00:13:27,581 Uh, where's Sam? He's never not here. 298 00:13:27,583 --> 00:13:30,584 Ah, yes, our proprietor is currently indisposed. 299 00:13:30,586 --> 00:13:32,386 And he left you in charge? 300 00:13:32,388 --> 00:13:34,122 They call me Kurt. 301 00:13:34,656 --> 00:13:35,822 I got to take a piss. 302 00:13:35,824 --> 00:13:38,324 Great, uh, Kurt, can we just get four bourbons, please. 303 00:13:38,326 --> 00:13:39,459 - [Kurt laughs] - [Adam] Straight up. 304 00:13:39,461 --> 00:13:42,161 You don't want that. Allow me to delight your senses 305 00:13:42,163 --> 00:13:45,364 with my self-authored specialty. 306 00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:49,235 Including handcrafted bitters, which I crafted myself, with my hands. 307 00:13:49,237 --> 00:13:52,506 Uh, yeah, no, no specials, just the four bourbons, please. 308 00:13:52,508 --> 00:13:56,144 Actually that sounds delightful, I'll try one of those. On the house. 309 00:13:57,311 --> 00:13:58,745 Kevin, it's tradition. 310 00:13:58,747 --> 00:14:01,013 Four bourbons, nothing else. 311 00:14:01,015 --> 00:14:03,282 And you can't order things on the house. 312 00:14:03,284 --> 00:14:04,653 One Kurt Special on the house. 313 00:14:09,257 --> 00:14:10,322 It's delicious. 314 00:14:10,324 --> 00:14:11,558 [Adam] Okay, you know what? 315 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,225 Just the four bourbons, please. 316 00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:14,530 Straight up, nothing else. 317 00:14:15,930 --> 00:14:19,165 I don't know what's happening to this place, but I don't like it. 318 00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:22,236 - Whiskey au gelatin. - Oh, come on. 319 00:14:23,739 --> 00:14:26,675 - It's Jello shots. - Whatever. Um... 320 00:14:29,143 --> 00:14:30,077 To Dad. 321 00:14:31,145 --> 00:14:33,715 - To Dad. - [glasses clinking] 322 00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:36,017 Really? 323 00:14:40,121 --> 00:14:40,988 [coughing] 324 00:14:45,026 --> 00:14:47,328 - We're not paying for this. - You should be ashamed of yourself. 325 00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:53,502 [twangy country music] 326 00:15:01,309 --> 00:15:02,410 [Tim] Let's do this. 327 00:15:11,753 --> 00:15:13,387 I can still feel him up here, you know? 328 00:15:14,723 --> 00:15:15,657 Me too. 329 00:15:16,658 --> 00:15:20,361 Or the altitude, but I'm pretty sure it's Dad. 330 00:15:21,229 --> 00:15:22,562 Enough with the ghost stories, boys. 331 00:15:22,564 --> 00:15:24,432 These beers aren't going to drink themselves. 332 00:15:31,673 --> 00:15:35,443 [slow sensual music] 333 00:15:48,690 --> 00:15:51,727 [dramatic music] 334 00:15:53,294 --> 00:15:54,228 Mom? 335 00:15:55,864 --> 00:15:57,164 Mom! 336 00:15:58,399 --> 00:15:59,699 Mom! 337 00:15:59,701 --> 00:16:00,769 [gasps] 338 00:16:01,469 --> 00:16:03,603 Adam, oh, my God! 339 00:16:03,605 --> 00:16:05,106 Why are you naked? 340 00:16:05,874 --> 00:16:07,206 You should never be nude, Mom. 341 00:16:07,208 --> 00:16:10,276 Timmy, I am not naked. 342 00:16:10,278 --> 00:16:13,145 Oh, hey, Mom. How's the work retreat going? 343 00:16:13,147 --> 00:16:14,248 Oh, no, Kevin! 344 00:16:15,651 --> 00:16:18,150 - What are you all even doing up here? - What are you doing here? 345 00:16:18,152 --> 00:16:19,518 It's Man Camp week. 346 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:20,620 It's this weekend? 347 00:16:20,622 --> 00:16:22,488 - Yeah. - [Mom] Oh, shit! 348 00:16:22,490 --> 00:16:26,525 Okay, fine, I'll, uh... I'll just gather my things up. 349 00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:29,461 I forgot that it was this... [grunts] 350 00:16:29,463 --> 00:16:34,300 Sometimes a woman just needs some special time 351 00:16:34,302 --> 00:16:36,201 - alone to herself to... - Oh, God, Mom, no! 352 00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:38,537 Gross! No explanation necessary, please. 353 00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:39,906 Don't be such a little bitch, Adam. 354 00:16:39,908 --> 00:16:41,808 Explanation fully necessary. 355 00:16:41,810 --> 00:16:44,711 So, you're just here by yourself having special time then? 356 00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:46,880 Yes, yes. 357 00:16:46,882 --> 00:16:48,882 [dramatic music] 358 00:16:48,884 --> 00:16:51,618 [man] I hear there's a few logs 359 00:16:51,620 --> 00:16:54,486 that need to be split in this here woods. 360 00:16:54,488 --> 00:16:56,590 [chuckles] Oh! 361 00:16:56,592 --> 00:17:00,762 Oh, oh, I, uh, wow. 362 00:17:01,429 --> 00:17:02,896 [chuckles] 363 00:17:02,898 --> 00:17:06,231 I was just, uh, getting some wood. 364 00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:10,770 No, I, it's so nice to actually meet you guys. 365 00:17:10,772 --> 00:17:12,839 [laughing nervously] 366 00:17:12,841 --> 00:17:15,209 Hi! [chuckles] 367 00:17:16,812 --> 00:17:18,112 Um. 368 00:17:19,447 --> 00:17:21,547 You must be... Oh. 369 00:17:21,549 --> 00:17:23,415 - Tim. - We can talk this through. 370 00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:24,818 - Tim. Tim. - [dramatic music] 371 00:17:24,820 --> 00:17:27,623 - [Adam] Mister, g... - No, no, no, I, we should... 372 00:17:28,389 --> 00:17:29,388 Tim, Tim, Tim! 373 00:17:29,390 --> 00:17:31,625 Go! Grab him! Run! 374 00:17:31,627 --> 00:17:32,859 - [Mom] Stop it! - Run! 375 00:17:32,861 --> 00:17:34,526 [Tim growling] 376 00:17:34,528 --> 00:17:36,528 [Mom] Tim! Stop that! 377 00:17:36,530 --> 00:17:39,365 - [Tim growling] - Stop it! 378 00:17:39,367 --> 00:17:40,836 [shrieking] 379 00:17:53,849 --> 00:17:55,383 - Um... - Shh! 380 00:18:01,690 --> 00:18:06,325 Maybe... some introductions are in order. 381 00:18:06,327 --> 00:18:07,894 Well, now that's a great idea, Kevin. 382 00:18:07,896 --> 00:18:09,731 - Okay, I'm Alan. - [Tim yells] 383 00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:15,702 Uh, guys, guys, relax, just chill, bros. 384 00:18:15,704 --> 00:18:19,438 Um, you know, maybe I can, do you mind if I? 385 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,410 I... I think I can explain what's going on here. 386 00:18:23,779 --> 00:18:26,614 Mom and Alan are friends... 387 00:18:27,749 --> 00:18:31,885 who apparently work together since Alan is here on the work retreat. 388 00:18:31,887 --> 00:18:33,452 - It's not a work retreat. - [Kevin] Nothing going on here. 389 00:18:33,454 --> 00:18:35,955 It's just, it's just two work friends 390 00:18:35,957 --> 00:18:37,658 doing what work friends do, you know? 391 00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:42,394 Riding work bikes and going to the movies for work, 392 00:18:42,396 --> 00:18:45,799 or going to fancy work restaurants. 393 00:18:45,801 --> 00:18:48,768 You know, or having work sleepovers. 394 00:18:48,770 --> 00:18:52,606 - You know, or all night work wrestling matches. - Kevin. 395 00:18:53,541 --> 00:18:54,575 It's just work. 396 00:18:55,711 --> 00:18:56,910 Dude, you know this guy? 397 00:18:56,912 --> 00:18:58,778 - Who, Alan? - [Adam] Yeah! 398 00:18:58,780 --> 00:19:01,382 - Yeah, of course. What's up, Alan? - [Alan chuckles] 399 00:19:02,450 --> 00:19:04,483 Mom, what the hell is going on here? 400 00:19:04,485 --> 00:19:05,486 Boys, look. 401 00:19:06,487 --> 00:19:08,689 I've been wanting to talk to you for a while. 402 00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:11,927 I've met someone. 403 00:19:12,660 --> 00:19:14,896 What the hell do you mean you've met someone? 404 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:18,064 Well, Tim, is it? 405 00:19:18,066 --> 00:19:19,833 When a man loves a woman... 406 00:19:19,835 --> 00:19:21,901 I know exactly what happens when a man loves a woman, 407 00:19:21,903 --> 00:19:23,702 and it sure as hell better not be happening 408 00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,839 outside the boundaries of holy matrimony! 409 00:19:25,841 --> 00:19:28,742 Now, Tim, I think you need to see the whole picture here. 410 00:19:28,744 --> 00:19:29,976 Whole picture? 411 00:19:29,978 --> 00:19:33,612 This isn't just about physical stuff going on, 412 00:19:33,614 --> 00:19:35,683 and believe me, that is going on. 413 00:19:36,584 --> 00:19:37,951 I think what I'm trying to say 414 00:19:37,953 --> 00:19:41,755 is that sometimes there's more to the story, okay? 415 00:19:41,757 --> 00:19:44,057 And what more to story is there, Alan? 416 00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:47,595 It... There's nothing. It... It's nothing. 417 00:19:48,329 --> 00:19:50,899 - What he's trying to say... - No, no, honey. 418 00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:54,067 Bless you, but I know what I'm trying to say. 419 00:19:54,069 --> 00:19:57,436 I want you boys to know that I'm a man of good intentions, 420 00:19:57,438 --> 00:19:59,873 and I think that if you boys understand 421 00:19:59,875 --> 00:20:01,908 where this is going with your Mom and I, 422 00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:03,642 we can smooth this whole thing over. 423 00:20:03,644 --> 00:20:04,911 [chuckles] Where things are going? 424 00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:08,415 That's... That's great, it sounds like you're planning a wedding. 425 00:20:09,717 --> 00:20:10,651 [Kevin gasps] 426 00:20:13,454 --> 00:20:14,555 Oh, shit. 427 00:20:16,024 --> 00:20:17,358 What do you want me to say? 428 00:20:19,027 --> 00:20:20,860 Okay, okay, so I guess... 429 00:20:20,862 --> 00:20:23,762 I guess whatever we think about all this is just, 430 00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:26,467 who gives a shit what we think about it. Wow. 431 00:20:26,968 --> 00:20:28,602 I've got news for you, young man. 432 00:20:29,403 --> 00:20:33,505 I am 54 years old and I think I am perfectly capable 433 00:20:33,507 --> 00:20:35,407 of making a decision by myself, 434 00:20:35,409 --> 00:20:37,944 and if you think you should've been included in that decision, 435 00:20:37,946 --> 00:20:41,547 well, I'm sorry, I am, but I love this man. 436 00:20:41,549 --> 00:20:43,582 - I love you too, Ther. - Not now, babe. 437 00:20:43,584 --> 00:20:46,752 I love him and I wanted to wait to discuss it with you boys 438 00:20:46,754 --> 00:20:48,453 until I saw that it was serious. 439 00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:50,522 I can't imagine why I was so nervous, 440 00:20:50,524 --> 00:20:52,926 because you also clearly have the ability 441 00:20:52,928 --> 00:20:54,595 to handle things like mature adults. 442 00:20:54,996 --> 00:20:58,697 And if I hear you talk to me in that language again, 443 00:20:58,699 --> 00:21:01,000 I'm going to wash your mouth out with bleach, 444 00:21:01,002 --> 00:21:03,504 - do you understand? - I'm a grown ass man. 445 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,174 God, okay, Mom, Mom! 446 00:21:08,176 --> 00:21:10,442 Okay, jeez. 447 00:21:10,444 --> 00:21:12,078 So, this is what you wanted all along? 448 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:13,480 You just got stuck with Dad? 449 00:21:14,782 --> 00:21:16,817 How dare you! 450 00:21:31,565 --> 00:21:34,468 We always have s'mores the first night, is that not? 451 00:21:35,971 --> 00:21:39,707 [playful suspenseful music] 452 00:21:48,582 --> 00:21:49,650 Hey, brother. 453 00:21:50,986 --> 00:21:52,020 You need a push? 454 00:21:53,088 --> 00:21:55,554 Judas! How long have you known about this, Kevin? 455 00:21:55,556 --> 00:22:00,692 Um, phew, eight months and a half. 456 00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:01,961 Maybe nine. 457 00:22:01,963 --> 00:22:04,563 Nine months? Are they doing it? 458 00:22:04,565 --> 00:22:05,631 Doing what? 459 00:22:05,633 --> 00:22:07,967 It, sex, intercourse! 460 00:22:07,969 --> 00:22:11,737 I couldn't say for sure, but, yes, definitely. 461 00:22:11,739 --> 00:22:13,839 You piece of human shit. 462 00:22:13,841 --> 00:22:15,707 Why didn't you tell us this was going on? 463 00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:17,843 Because Mom seemed happy. 464 00:22:17,845 --> 00:22:19,747 I mean, the happiest I've ever seen her. 465 00:22:20,714 --> 00:22:23,851 You know, since everything happened. 466 00:22:24,652 --> 00:22:26,718 And I knew you guys would just lose your minds, so. 467 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,587 - You don't know that, dude. - I do, I do know that! 468 00:22:28,589 --> 00:22:31,991 Father Flynn, you planted drugs on him because you thought 469 00:22:31,993 --> 00:22:34,928 he hugged Mom for too long at Christmas Eve service. 470 00:22:34,930 --> 00:22:36,795 He's never hugged me that long. 471 00:22:36,797 --> 00:22:39,134 And Alan is, he's not that bad. 472 00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:43,769 You know, he can't play baseball or fix a truck, 473 00:22:43,771 --> 00:22:45,771 or play pranks as good as Dad could, 474 00:22:45,773 --> 00:22:48,575 but you know, he's been really nice to me. 475 00:22:49,743 --> 00:22:53,079 [playful suspenseful music] 476 00:22:53,081 --> 00:22:54,983 Yeah, he probably doesn't have Dad's sense of humor, does he? 477 00:22:56,217 --> 00:22:58,852 He's probably a little more emotionally fragile, yeah? 478 00:23:00,088 --> 00:23:02,221 Uh, well, you know, he did submit 479 00:23:02,223 --> 00:23:05,224 this really thoughtful gardening plan to Reader's Digest. 480 00:23:05,226 --> 00:23:06,527 [Tim] Kevin, get in the truck. 481 00:23:07,128 --> 00:23:08,629 We're going to need supplies. 482 00:23:09,164 --> 00:23:12,831 [playful suspenseful music] 483 00:23:12,833 --> 00:23:17,103 I am so glad that this is now my top memory of this place. 484 00:23:17,105 --> 00:23:19,040 Really, I'm thrilled about it. 485 00:23:19,673 --> 00:23:21,540 God knows what else has been going on up here. 486 00:23:21,542 --> 00:23:24,143 Right, Adam, and I'm just the town... 487 00:23:24,145 --> 00:23:25,512 What? 488 00:23:27,815 --> 00:23:29,815 - Bicycle. - Bicycle? 489 00:23:29,817 --> 00:23:31,550 Everyone goes for a ride on me. 490 00:23:31,552 --> 00:23:32,617 Oh, gosh, Mom. 491 00:23:32,619 --> 00:23:34,020 Sweetie, don't say that. 492 00:23:34,022 --> 00:23:37,825 I made you some chamomile to calm you down. [kissing] 493 00:23:38,994 --> 00:23:39,927 I'll get you one. 494 00:23:41,129 --> 00:23:42,230 Listen, Mom. 495 00:23:43,398 --> 00:23:47,133 I'm not saying that you're some kind of... whore, okay? 496 00:23:47,135 --> 00:23:49,935 I'm just, you have to understand this is hard for us. 497 00:23:49,937 --> 00:23:51,603 This guy could be anybody for all we know. 498 00:23:51,605 --> 00:23:54,040 He, he, he could be a serial killer. 499 00:23:54,042 --> 00:23:57,176 He could be a rapist. He could be a registered sex offender. 500 00:23:57,178 --> 00:24:00,645 - Careful, it's hot. - Thanks, but I'm pretty sure I saw a guy 501 00:24:00,647 --> 00:24:02,916 that looked a lot like him on To Catch a Predator. 502 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,956 Oh, I've got folding to do. 503 00:24:10,958 --> 00:24:12,559 [whispering] These people are out there. 504 00:24:14,195 --> 00:24:16,262 - Oh, that's hot. - [Alan] Told you! 505 00:24:16,264 --> 00:24:18,966 Alan is not a predator, don't be silly! 506 00:24:19,767 --> 00:24:21,034 You know, I am sorry. 507 00:24:21,036 --> 00:24:22,734 I don't want you to be sorry, Mom. 508 00:24:22,736 --> 00:24:24,903 I want you to act like you give a shit what we think. 509 00:24:24,905 --> 00:24:28,006 Hey, hey, mister. Watch the language. Your mother already mentioned that. 510 00:24:28,008 --> 00:24:29,308 [Adam] Oh, oh, okay, 511 00:24:29,310 --> 00:24:32,378 so I can't come to my Dad's cabin and say "shit", 512 00:24:32,380 --> 00:24:34,147 but you're fully welcome to come here 513 00:24:34,149 --> 00:24:36,615 with no freaking pants on and take care of quote, 514 00:24:36,617 --> 00:24:38,683 "A log that needs splitting." 515 00:24:38,685 --> 00:24:39,885 I don't even know what that means, man. 516 00:24:39,887 --> 00:24:41,220 That was a flirtatious expression... 517 00:24:41,222 --> 00:24:44,357 - My mom is not a log! - Honey, please! 518 00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:46,725 I know this is hard on you. 519 00:24:46,727 --> 00:24:49,362 Why do you think we were afraid to tell you guys in the first place? 520 00:24:49,364 --> 00:24:50,562 Look how you boys are acting! 521 00:24:50,564 --> 00:24:53,033 It's like having two clones of your father in this room. 522 00:24:55,170 --> 00:24:56,703 We're still a family, Mom. 523 00:24:58,073 --> 00:24:59,174 Even if Dad's gone. 524 00:25:00,941 --> 00:25:02,042 Yes, we are. 525 00:25:04,212 --> 00:25:06,878 And I'm still a person with a life, 526 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,182 and I deserve to have someone to share it with. 527 00:25:09,184 --> 00:25:11,783 [light instrumental music] 528 00:25:11,785 --> 00:25:14,089 I'd give anything to have your father back. 529 00:25:15,223 --> 00:25:17,158 But that's not going to happen. 530 00:25:18,725 --> 00:25:20,761 It's time you boys understood that. 531 00:25:26,334 --> 00:25:27,601 I need some air. 532 00:25:29,204 --> 00:25:33,341 [light instrumental music] 533 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:40,948 [beer can popping] 534 00:25:53,961 --> 00:25:57,097 [car engine rumbling] 535 00:26:03,103 --> 00:26:06,705 Thanks for sticking around to back me up. I appreciate it. 536 00:26:06,707 --> 00:26:08,307 Don't worry about it, everything's under control. 537 00:26:08,309 --> 00:26:11,076 No, it's not, dude. I can't stand this guy, he needs to go. 538 00:26:11,078 --> 00:26:12,347 Way ahead of you, pal. 539 00:26:13,881 --> 00:26:17,017 [crickets chirping] 540 00:26:17,885 --> 00:26:18,917 [Theresa] Can I help you? 541 00:26:18,919 --> 00:26:20,153 No, no, I've got it. 542 00:26:20,155 --> 00:26:21,953 This is kind of my thing. 543 00:26:21,955 --> 00:26:23,824 [water dripping] 544 00:26:25,426 --> 00:26:26,827 I'm so sorry, Mom. 545 00:26:27,928 --> 00:26:29,963 - You are? - Yeah. 546 00:26:31,432 --> 00:26:34,167 You know me, I always go overboard. 547 00:26:34,169 --> 00:26:37,070 I mean, it's like zero to 60 in two shakes of a lamb's tail. 548 00:26:40,408 --> 00:26:42,443 [kissing] I love you. 549 00:26:46,146 --> 00:26:47,346 What are you up to, Timmy? 550 00:26:47,348 --> 00:26:48,548 Am I upset? 551 00:26:48,550 --> 00:26:52,851 Yes, but does that mean that I don't want you to be happy 552 00:26:52,853 --> 00:26:54,220 and find some love in your life? 553 00:26:54,222 --> 00:26:56,154 I mean, come on. 554 00:26:56,156 --> 00:26:58,025 I'm not a monster. 555 00:27:00,093 --> 00:27:01,394 Let us make it up to you. 556 00:27:01,396 --> 00:27:03,828 It's all right. Alan and I are going to go. 557 00:27:03,830 --> 00:27:05,897 You guys have a great weekend 558 00:27:05,899 --> 00:27:07,366 and we can talk about this another time. 559 00:27:07,368 --> 00:27:10,403 There's no time like the present, okay? 560 00:27:10,405 --> 00:27:12,438 Now, the boys and I have a proposition, 561 00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,105 and I think you'll find it very appealing. 562 00:27:14,107 --> 00:27:15,508 What? 563 00:27:15,510 --> 00:27:18,244 Well, you go home for the weekend, okay? 564 00:27:18,246 --> 00:27:22,049 Hang out with your girlfriends, paint your toenails, watch a little Gilly Girls. 565 00:27:22,550 --> 00:27:25,384 - And, uh, we'll hang up here with Alan, just the boys. - [Alan chuckles] 566 00:27:25,386 --> 00:27:27,320 Okay, just really get a real chance 567 00:27:27,322 --> 00:27:30,258 to really get to know the real Alan, Man Camp plus one. 568 00:27:31,392 --> 00:27:32,293 Really? 569 00:27:32,926 --> 00:27:35,195 Um, uh... 570 00:27:36,063 --> 00:27:38,464 Yes, yes, yep. 571 00:27:38,466 --> 00:27:40,466 Perfect, so we're all in agreement. 572 00:27:40,468 --> 00:27:42,934 - Uh, I, I don't think so. - What? 573 00:27:42,936 --> 00:27:46,405 - You have that look in your eye. - What look? 574 00:27:46,407 --> 00:27:49,207 The look that before you burned the neighbor's shed down, 575 00:27:49,209 --> 00:27:52,077 or you buried their cat for meowing at night, 576 00:27:52,079 --> 00:27:55,013 - oh, and when you booby trapped the teacher's lounge. - Mom, Mom! 577 00:27:55,015 --> 00:27:57,383 - That look. - [Tim chuckles] 578 00:27:57,385 --> 00:28:01,121 Mom, that was old Tim, okay? This is new Tim. 579 00:28:02,155 --> 00:28:07,125 That's sweet, honey, but, um, Alan has some work 580 00:28:07,127 --> 00:28:09,194 that he's just got to get back to. 581 00:28:09,196 --> 00:28:12,030 Honey, no, no, no. I can reschedule that. 582 00:28:12,032 --> 00:28:14,232 Yeah, you know, honestly, I think this is a great idea. 583 00:28:14,234 --> 00:28:17,035 There you go, Al, buddy. 584 00:28:17,037 --> 00:28:18,103 Well. Oh! 585 00:28:18,105 --> 00:28:19,904 [Tim] You won't regret this. 586 00:28:19,906 --> 00:28:23,476 Hey, hey, hey, I know we came on a little strong up there, okay? 587 00:28:23,478 --> 00:28:25,411 - At the top. - Just a little bit. 588 00:28:25,413 --> 00:28:27,981 - And for that, I apologize. - Oh. 589 00:28:28,416 --> 00:28:33,352 [Tim sighs] And Kev says you're a stand-up guy, so I trust my brother. 590 00:28:33,354 --> 00:28:35,020 Let's try this again. 591 00:28:35,022 --> 00:28:36,254 Welcome to Man Camp. 592 00:28:36,256 --> 00:28:37,922 Well, thank you, New Tim. 593 00:28:37,924 --> 00:28:39,257 I appreciate it. Oh, that's good. 594 00:28:39,259 --> 00:28:42,528 - I'm glad to have a new start and hit to old reset button. - Yeah. 595 00:28:42,530 --> 00:28:45,096 And just have a little man on man time. 596 00:28:45,098 --> 00:28:48,166 - What's that? - Oh, you know, break down some barriers. 597 00:28:48,168 --> 00:28:51,304 Just get going guy on guy, I think it sounds amazing, 598 00:28:51,306 --> 00:28:52,137 and you know what? 599 00:28:52,139 --> 00:28:53,639 You've got nothing to worry about, 600 00:28:53,641 --> 00:28:54,707 because all we're going to be doing up here 601 00:28:54,709 --> 00:28:59,044 is just a couple of guys taking it nice and deep. 602 00:28:59,046 --> 00:29:00,178 I can't wait. 603 00:29:00,180 --> 00:29:03,083 [playful music] 604 00:29:03,618 --> 00:29:08,153 - So, I guess I'm going to have to split that log another time. - [Theresa laughs] 605 00:29:08,155 --> 00:29:10,389 - Stop! - [both laughing] 606 00:29:10,391 --> 00:29:13,024 Well, this is all going to be fine. It's going to be okay, trust me. 607 00:29:13,026 --> 00:29:15,594 Oh, you poor, poor sweet man. 608 00:29:15,596 --> 00:29:17,630 - [Theresa] Oh! - [Tim] All right, all set. 609 00:29:17,632 --> 00:29:21,032 Okay, um, I'll call you when I get home, okay? 610 00:29:21,034 --> 00:29:23,469 - Oh, please do, sweetie. - Drive safe, Mom. 611 00:29:23,471 --> 00:29:27,205 - It's gonna be scary at night. - Oh, oh, hey, you guys be good to him. 612 00:29:27,207 --> 00:29:30,643 He's not used to these sort of situations, okay? 613 00:29:30,645 --> 00:29:34,848 - We'll take care of him, Mom. - Okay, oh, my sweet boys. Oh. 614 00:29:36,016 --> 00:29:38,116 - [Tim] All right. - Oh, okay, okay. 615 00:29:38,118 --> 00:29:39,618 - Drive safe, Mom. - Okay. 616 00:29:39,620 --> 00:29:41,186 Don't you worry about a thing. 617 00:29:41,188 --> 00:29:42,388 When we come down off of this mountain, 618 00:29:42,390 --> 00:29:43,689 we're going to be like peas and carrots. 619 00:29:43,691 --> 00:29:47,560 - [Theresa] Aw, I love you, babe. - Oh. [kissing] 620 00:29:47,562 --> 00:29:49,127 - Bye! - Bye, Mom. 621 00:29:49,129 --> 00:29:51,162 - Bye, Mom. - [Theresa] Bye! 622 00:29:51,164 --> 00:29:53,198 [car engine revving] 623 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,934 Well, boys, here we go, ooh. 624 00:29:55,936 --> 00:29:57,068 - Hey, buddy. - Oh. 625 00:29:57,070 --> 00:29:58,537 You ready to spend some quality time with the boys? 626 00:29:58,539 --> 00:30:00,271 [Alan] Oh, yeah. [groans] 627 00:30:00,273 --> 00:30:03,074 I just had a ruptured disc, I think. 628 00:30:03,076 --> 00:30:04,543 Oh, my gosh, yeah, I can feel 629 00:30:04,545 --> 00:30:07,646 those little pieces floating around in my back skin. 630 00:30:07,648 --> 00:30:08,980 I can't breathe really. 631 00:30:08,982 --> 00:30:09,782 I think he's telling the truth. 632 00:30:09,784 --> 00:30:11,550 His face looks really fat and tight. 633 00:30:11,552 --> 00:30:13,318 Oh, no, that's just what his face looks like. 634 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:16,988 - No, okay, please. - Okay. [laughs loudly] 635 00:30:16,990 --> 00:30:19,991 - Oh. - Just a little brotherly wrestling with you, Alan. 636 00:30:19,993 --> 00:30:21,928 It's going to be a good weekend up here. [chuckles] 637 00:30:22,530 --> 00:30:24,030 I can't wait to just hang out and see what you're all about. 638 00:30:25,198 --> 00:30:26,965 Well, hang on, are you winking to them 639 00:30:26,967 --> 00:30:28,099 to surreptitiously suggest 640 00:30:28,101 --> 00:30:30,034 that you're not going to have a good weekend with me? 641 00:30:30,036 --> 00:30:32,438 [laughs] Don't be silly, Alvis. 642 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:34,607 I've got something in my eye. 643 00:30:34,609 --> 00:30:37,242 Oh, you know what? I think you actually do have something in your eye. 644 00:30:37,244 --> 00:30:38,343 [playful music] 645 00:30:38,345 --> 00:30:42,280 - Oh, very good, Kevin! - Not the time for magic, Kevin. 646 00:30:42,282 --> 00:30:45,686 Hey, Kevin, I think I might have a quarter in my eye. 647 00:30:46,286 --> 00:30:48,153 I don't see anything in your eye. 648 00:30:48,155 --> 00:30:49,522 Maybe if I check into... oh! 649 00:30:49,524 --> 00:30:51,222 - [laughing] - Oh, come on. 650 00:30:51,224 --> 00:30:52,591 Did you hear what I just said, Alvin? 651 00:30:52,593 --> 00:30:54,259 Actually, it's Alan. 652 00:30:54,261 --> 00:30:55,663 Sure thing, Alice. 653 00:30:56,329 --> 00:30:58,196 Oh, I get it. 654 00:30:58,198 --> 00:31:01,099 You like to give each other a little smack down, huh? 655 00:31:01,101 --> 00:31:03,536 Kind of razz the bros, well, I totally dig that. 656 00:31:03,538 --> 00:31:06,204 Yeah, I dig it. I dig it with both shovels, but I'll tell you something, 657 00:31:06,206 --> 00:31:09,376 you better watch out, because four can play that game. 658 00:31:10,277 --> 00:31:15,248 Like, hey, you little weirdo wankers. 659 00:31:16,316 --> 00:31:17,716 Buncha weirdo wankers. 660 00:31:17,718 --> 00:31:19,317 Don't tell your mother I said that. 661 00:31:19,319 --> 00:31:21,286 It's a good thing no one can hear you way up here. 662 00:31:21,288 --> 00:31:22,954 Away from the modern world. 663 00:31:22,956 --> 00:31:26,659 You could scream your lungs out and no one would hear you but the wind and the trees. 664 00:31:26,661 --> 00:31:29,628 You know, Tim, that kind of came across as a threat. 665 00:31:29,630 --> 00:31:32,397 [chuckles] The imagination on this one. 666 00:31:32,399 --> 00:31:33,668 Let's get you situated. 667 00:31:34,469 --> 00:31:37,135 Hey, are there any more sleeping options? 668 00:31:37,137 --> 00:31:38,671 Because I know there are bedrooms downstairs, 669 00:31:38,673 --> 00:31:40,673 and also I need to use the potty. 670 00:31:40,675 --> 00:31:41,709 Outhouse is over there. 671 00:31:42,610 --> 00:31:43,709 Goodnight, baby bear. 672 00:31:43,711 --> 00:31:47,648 [playful rock music] 673 00:31:51,318 --> 00:31:52,319 [sighs] 674 00:31:53,721 --> 00:31:56,120 [taking a deep breath] All right, boys, homewrecker's all tucked in. 675 00:31:56,122 --> 00:31:57,523 Great, so what's the plan? 676 00:31:57,525 --> 00:31:59,525 Now this guy's staying up here for Man Camp? 677 00:31:59,527 --> 00:32:01,359 Dad would not be happy, dude. 678 00:32:01,361 --> 00:32:02,495 Obviously Dad would be pissed 679 00:32:02,497 --> 00:32:05,129 about Mom knocking boots with Small Bunyan out there. 680 00:32:05,131 --> 00:32:08,299 Okay, that guy is ugly, weak as shit, and probably racist. 681 00:32:08,301 --> 00:32:11,537 He... He teaches African American Studies at the community college. 682 00:32:11,539 --> 00:32:12,705 Classic racist cover-up, Kevin. 683 00:32:12,707 --> 00:32:14,205 [Adam] You're avoiding the question, man. 684 00:32:14,207 --> 00:32:15,841 Why the hell did you invite him up here? 685 00:32:15,843 --> 00:32:17,510 We could've at least had a decent weekend, 686 00:32:17,512 --> 00:32:18,744 but now that's out the window. 687 00:32:18,746 --> 00:32:20,113 Bro, trust. 688 00:32:21,281 --> 00:32:24,082 After this weekend, you'll never have to see him again. 689 00:32:24,084 --> 00:32:25,118 I give you... 690 00:32:31,626 --> 00:32:33,594 [eagle screeches] 691 00:32:36,263 --> 00:32:37,598 the master plan. 692 00:32:39,366 --> 00:32:43,201 Mom's on her way home now, confident everything is cool. 693 00:32:43,203 --> 00:32:45,538 Now, while she has a nice little weekend to herself, 694 00:32:45,540 --> 00:32:48,809 we keep that dong bag up here and let the games begin. 695 00:32:49,442 --> 00:32:50,576 You made this? 696 00:32:50,578 --> 00:32:51,777 Yeah, dude, I'm not a kindergartner. 697 00:32:51,779 --> 00:32:53,111 I know basic cartography. 698 00:32:53,113 --> 00:32:54,747 Oh, are those ninja stars? 699 00:32:54,749 --> 00:32:56,582 Shuriken, read the legend. 700 00:32:56,584 --> 00:32:58,516 [Adam] Oh, hey, that guy's falling off a cliff. 701 00:32:58,518 --> 00:33:00,487 This guy's just on fire. We're going to light him on fire? 702 00:33:01,488 --> 00:33:04,122 What do you think I am, a psychopath? 703 00:33:04,124 --> 00:33:05,624 He'll be setting himself on fire, 704 00:33:05,626 --> 00:33:07,425 which you would know if you read the legend. 705 00:33:07,427 --> 00:33:11,162 Whoa, whoa, whoa. This guy on fire, that's supposed to be Alan? 706 00:33:11,164 --> 00:33:12,633 - Yeah. - Oh, no. 707 00:33:13,433 --> 00:33:16,702 Uh-uh, no, I'm sorry, change of allegiance, Tim. 708 00:33:16,704 --> 00:33:19,537 Thanks, Kevin, yeah, we're not torturing this guy. 709 00:33:19,539 --> 00:33:21,607 But thank you for ruining this entire weekend 710 00:33:21,609 --> 00:33:23,174 because of your stupid little plan. 711 00:33:23,176 --> 00:33:25,243 So, you'd rather it just be the three of us up here? 712 00:33:25,245 --> 00:33:29,615 While he's down in our house touching our mom? Dad's Mom? 713 00:33:29,617 --> 00:33:33,251 Dude, I'm not a bigger fan of this guy than you are, but we need a real plan. 714 00:33:33,253 --> 00:33:34,653 You're acting as if I didn't create 715 00:33:34,655 --> 00:33:37,388 an incredibly detailed map for that very purpose! 716 00:33:37,390 --> 00:33:39,190 Are you even aware of what's at stake here? 717 00:33:39,192 --> 00:33:41,062 Kevin, tell him what you told me. 718 00:33:41,662 --> 00:33:44,195 The only place a dream becomes impossible 719 00:33:44,197 --> 00:33:45,600 is in your own mind. 720 00:33:47,233 --> 00:33:48,703 About Mom and Alan. 721 00:33:49,569 --> 00:33:53,506 Oh, um, they... they love each other. 722 00:33:54,474 --> 00:33:55,643 And how do they love each other? 723 00:33:57,544 --> 00:33:59,210 In the sheets. 724 00:33:59,212 --> 00:34:00,012 Thank you. 725 00:34:00,014 --> 00:34:02,681 - Well... - Sometimes on the couch. 726 00:34:02,683 --> 00:34:04,783 Kevin, got it. Kind of put two and two together 727 00:34:04,785 --> 00:34:07,418 when we walked in on Mom spread eagle on the bearskin rug. 728 00:34:07,420 --> 00:34:08,586 Dad's bearskin rug. 729 00:34:08,588 --> 00:34:10,856 Dad's Mom's bearskin rug. 730 00:34:10,858 --> 00:34:12,490 Tim, I'm not going to jail again 731 00:34:12,492 --> 00:34:15,228 for another one of your stupid little plans. Goodnight. 732 00:34:15,963 --> 00:34:16,829 [dramatic music] 733 00:34:16,831 --> 00:34:19,397 Hey, I'm starting to get the feeling 734 00:34:19,399 --> 00:34:21,566 you don't care about defending Mom's honor. 735 00:34:21,568 --> 00:34:25,603 - Dad's Mom's honor. - Okay, first of all, Dad's mom is Grandma, 736 00:34:25,605 --> 00:34:27,773 and second, yes, I absolutely do care, 737 00:34:27,775 --> 00:34:29,340 but there has to be a better way. 738 00:34:29,342 --> 00:34:31,576 This is it, man. Pick a side. 739 00:34:31,578 --> 00:34:33,444 I'm on your side, but this kind of childish shit 740 00:34:33,446 --> 00:34:34,813 is the exact reason that Mom doesn't tell us 741 00:34:34,815 --> 00:34:36,347 any of this stuff in the first place. 742 00:34:36,349 --> 00:34:37,850 Thank you, Dad, for the lecture. 743 00:34:37,852 --> 00:34:39,417 Hey, let me know if you see my brother around, 744 00:34:39,419 --> 00:34:40,320 I need his help with something. 745 00:34:41,187 --> 00:34:42,186 - I'm right here, Tim. - Not you, Kevin. 746 00:34:42,188 --> 00:34:43,822 I'm talking about Captain Dingle over here. 747 00:34:43,824 --> 00:34:45,423 You know what, dude? Fine. 748 00:34:45,425 --> 00:34:47,660 You just kill a guy and see where that gets you, okay? 749 00:34:47,662 --> 00:34:48,559 Have fun. 750 00:34:48,561 --> 00:34:51,897 I'm not crazy, okay, dude. I get it. 751 00:34:51,899 --> 00:34:54,332 You know, maybe one day in the future 752 00:34:54,334 --> 00:34:56,902 Mom's going to find some guy or something, okay? 753 00:34:56,904 --> 00:34:58,603 I'm not totally opposed to that, 754 00:34:58,605 --> 00:35:02,273 but if he can't prove himself a worthy successor, 755 00:35:02,275 --> 00:35:03,909 by a few tests of manhood, 756 00:35:03,911 --> 00:35:06,912 then, you know, maybe he's not the right guy. 757 00:35:06,914 --> 00:35:09,948 Death is not a test of manhood, dude. He's not Jesus. 758 00:35:09,950 --> 00:35:11,251 He can't rise from the dead. 759 00:35:11,786 --> 00:35:12,617 Gandalf did it. 760 00:35:12,619 --> 00:35:15,188 Gandalf did it, thank you, Kevin. 761 00:35:16,489 --> 00:35:18,458 Make a choice, Adam. Are you in or out? 762 00:35:21,729 --> 00:35:22,863 Choose! 763 00:35:25,665 --> 00:35:26,865 Is that a bear? 764 00:35:26,867 --> 00:35:30,603 [suspenseful music] 765 00:35:32,572 --> 00:35:33,741 Bear pit. 766 00:35:34,674 --> 00:35:35,675 Legend. 767 00:35:37,343 --> 00:35:38,378 I'm going to bed. 768 00:35:39,279 --> 00:35:40,779 And when I wake up, 769 00:35:40,781 --> 00:35:45,585 this little idea of yours better be gone. 770 00:35:46,553 --> 00:35:47,953 All right, Adam. 771 00:35:47,955 --> 00:35:50,655 You're the leader, map's out. 772 00:35:50,657 --> 00:35:52,860 [Adam] Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it, bud. 773 00:35:53,593 --> 00:35:56,694 A snake this large would have to be flown in from South America. 774 00:35:56,696 --> 00:35:59,299 - Now, I have a guy but... - [Tim] Give me that! 775 00:36:04,905 --> 00:36:07,742 [birds chirping] 776 00:36:15,448 --> 00:36:17,850 - [inhales] - [coughing] 777 00:36:17,852 --> 00:36:19,584 What's that smell? 778 00:36:19,586 --> 00:36:21,987 Oh, I see we have a late riser on our hands. 779 00:36:21,989 --> 00:36:24,624 Good almost afternoon to you, Adam. 780 00:36:29,063 --> 00:36:30,929 What's... what's going on here? 781 00:36:30,931 --> 00:36:33,966 Alan made us breakfast, cruelty-free veggie omelets. 782 00:36:33,968 --> 00:36:35,870 - They've got kale and everything. - Oh. 783 00:36:37,670 --> 00:36:39,470 It's like a dream come true. 784 00:36:39,472 --> 00:36:41,307 - You're going to love it. - These are delicious, Alan. 785 00:36:42,709 --> 00:36:44,509 Now, Adam, what'll it be? 786 00:36:44,511 --> 00:36:46,677 Would you like a two cage-free free range egger 787 00:36:46,679 --> 00:36:48,513 or a three cage-free free range egger? 788 00:36:48,515 --> 00:36:49,582 Uh, whatever. 789 00:36:50,517 --> 00:36:51,482 What egg-er? 790 00:36:51,484 --> 00:36:54,487 [laughing] 791 00:36:56,422 --> 00:36:57,622 I just... I don't know. 792 00:36:57,624 --> 00:36:59,357 We were just telling Alan 793 00:36:59,359 --> 00:37:01,059 how we're throwing out our plans for the weekend, 794 00:37:01,061 --> 00:37:02,426 so we can just get to know each other. 795 00:37:02,428 --> 00:37:03,661 Oh, great. 796 00:37:03,663 --> 00:37:05,798 That's great, thank you, Tim. Thank you. 797 00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:08,599 You know, I don't want to interrupt, but I just was wondering, 798 00:37:08,601 --> 00:37:10,135 what do you guys usually do when you're here? 799 00:37:10,137 --> 00:37:13,638 I mean, do you just hang out? Do you just kind of shoot the crap, or what? 800 00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:15,874 Just, you know, typical guy stuff. 801 00:37:15,876 --> 00:37:18,776 We, uh, we light stuff on fire. 802 00:37:18,778 --> 00:37:22,080 We drink alcoholic beers. 803 00:37:22,082 --> 00:37:24,082 You know, fish, whatever. 804 00:37:24,084 --> 00:37:26,484 Ooh, yikes, I'll definitely have to sit that one out, 805 00:37:26,486 --> 00:37:28,686 because I can't imagine anything crueler 806 00:37:28,688 --> 00:37:30,454 than having a hook in your mouth. 807 00:37:30,456 --> 00:37:32,659 I mean, just, ugh, ow. 808 00:37:33,127 --> 00:37:36,394 I, um, I respect your compassion 809 00:37:36,396 --> 00:37:37,896 for all creatures on this earth, you know I do. 810 00:37:37,898 --> 00:37:40,098 But, um, and you got to hear me on this. 811 00:37:40,100 --> 00:37:42,600 Fish are not living things. 812 00:37:42,602 --> 00:37:45,371 -They are the vegetables of the sea. [Tim] No worries, Alan. 813 00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:46,905 Fishing's out. 814 00:37:46,907 --> 00:37:48,739 Our plans are out the window. 815 00:37:48,741 --> 00:37:50,843 - We want to hear about your plans. - Really? 816 00:37:50,845 --> 00:37:52,845 Your mother and I were going to do some birdwatching, 817 00:37:52,847 --> 00:37:54,712 so we could definitely do that, and they're in season, 818 00:37:54,714 --> 00:37:58,718 and then also, oh, this tops it. We not even bird. 819 00:37:59,586 --> 00:38:01,153 I have all my scrapbooking stuff up here. 820 00:38:01,155 --> 00:38:02,653 - Scrapbooking? - [Alan] Mm-hmm. 821 00:38:02,655 --> 00:38:03,956 Adam loves scrapbooking. 822 00:38:03,958 --> 00:38:06,024 No way! Are you a scrapper? 823 00:38:06,026 --> 00:38:09,027 - Uh-huh. - [Alan] I totally felt that, we're twinsies. 824 00:38:09,029 --> 00:38:12,030 Well, tell you what? Why don't you take the reins for today, huh? 825 00:38:12,032 --> 00:38:15,433 - What do you say, Adam? - Best plan I've heard in the past 24 hours, Tim. 826 00:38:15,435 --> 00:38:16,767 [Alan] Oh, that's wonderful! 827 00:38:16,769 --> 00:38:18,170 This is it, I'm going to step up to the challenge. 828 00:38:18,172 --> 00:38:19,537 Okay, does anybody want seconds 829 00:38:19,539 --> 00:38:20,573 because we definitely have seconds? 830 00:38:21,641 --> 00:38:23,141 Is that a bird out there? 831 00:38:23,143 --> 00:38:25,812 - [Tim] I don't eat breakfast after 10:00. - Oh, okay. Kev? 832 00:38:26,713 --> 00:38:27,845 Pick one of those. 833 00:38:27,847 --> 00:38:32,019 [bright whistling music] 834 00:38:43,463 --> 00:38:45,463 Ooh! 835 00:38:45,465 --> 00:38:47,099 - Wow! - You like it? 836 00:38:47,101 --> 00:38:48,601 [bird chirping] 837 00:38:55,842 --> 00:38:56,709 There you go. 838 00:39:05,551 --> 00:39:06,717 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 839 00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:11,025 [bright whistling music] 840 00:39:15,162 --> 00:39:18,562 [Alan] This is from my seventh grade dream diary, 841 00:39:18,564 --> 00:39:22,136 and it's, uh, "One day I'll have friends." 842 00:39:23,603 --> 00:39:25,070 [sighs] 843 00:39:25,072 --> 00:39:29,241 All right, guys, score is Team Awesome, three. 844 00:39:29,243 --> 00:39:31,678 Team Friends Forever, zero. 845 00:39:32,812 --> 00:39:34,014 All right, Kev, you're up. 846 00:39:35,548 --> 00:39:36,216 Ha ha! 847 00:39:37,684 --> 00:39:40,087 And go! 848 00:39:41,587 --> 00:39:42,887 - Jaws. - Yes! 849 00:39:42,889 --> 00:39:44,755 - Yes, yes! - Oh! 850 00:39:44,757 --> 00:39:46,924 - Yeah! - [Tim] Yes, come on! 851 00:39:46,926 --> 00:39:48,559 - Bullshit! - [cheering] 852 00:39:48,561 --> 00:39:50,528 - There's no way, there's... - [Tim] What, what? 853 00:39:50,530 --> 00:39:53,131 Yeah, you guys got some catching up to do, come on. 854 00:39:53,133 --> 00:39:55,800 All right, I am totally feeling this. 855 00:39:55,802 --> 00:39:57,269 Are you ready, buddy? Here we go. 856 00:39:57,271 --> 00:40:00,305 Come on, we're syncing up, we're all connected. Are you ready? 857 00:40:00,307 --> 00:40:02,977 - Yep. - Okay, here we go. 858 00:40:03,743 --> 00:40:04,875 Bompity bo! 859 00:40:04,877 --> 00:40:07,312 Oh, I know this one. Here we go, ready? 860 00:40:07,314 --> 00:40:09,214 And... go. 861 00:40:09,216 --> 00:40:11,684 - [snorting] - [Adam] Pig, pig, pigtail. 862 00:40:12,252 --> 00:40:14,987 Pigtail, pig penis, pig penis, pig... 863 00:40:14,989 --> 00:40:16,221 - long penis. - Come on, am I not getting through here? 864 00:40:16,223 --> 00:40:17,655 Hey, you cannot talk in this part. 865 00:40:17,657 --> 00:40:19,124 - Okay, okay. - Zipper. 866 00:40:19,126 --> 00:40:22,960 Pig hands, pig hands, pat-a-cake. 867 00:40:22,962 --> 00:40:26,064 - And time. - [Alan] Oh, oh, oh, it's so close! 868 00:40:26,066 --> 00:40:29,700 - Oh, it was Hambone. That was one of mine. - [Adam] Hambone? 869 00:40:29,702 --> 00:40:31,802 The category was movies, Alan. 870 00:40:31,804 --> 00:40:34,705 Yeah, I know I figured that out about halfway through. 871 00:40:34,707 --> 00:40:36,974 Okay, uh, I need to take a walk. 872 00:40:36,976 --> 00:40:39,177 Uh, uh, uh, not so fast, mister. 873 00:40:39,179 --> 00:40:40,878 There are bears out there. 874 00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:42,682 - You need some bear spray first. - [Adam] Fine. 875 00:40:44,650 --> 00:40:46,650 - What are you... what are you doing? - Well, it's... 876 00:40:46,652 --> 00:40:48,253 It's just basically like bug spray for bears. 877 00:40:48,255 --> 00:40:50,721 - No, no, no! - Oh, no, oh, no! 878 00:40:50,723 --> 00:40:52,324 - [screaming] - Oh, you got to hold still. 879 00:40:52,326 --> 00:40:54,825 - [coughing] - Oh, whew! 880 00:40:54,827 --> 00:40:55,993 Oh, that's heavy. 881 00:40:55,995 --> 00:40:57,728 - [shrieking] - [coughing] 882 00:40:57,730 --> 00:40:58,896 - [Kevin] Tim! - [Tim] Yeah? 883 00:40:58,898 --> 00:41:00,898 - [Kevin] I swallowed it. - Kevin! 884 00:41:00,900 --> 00:41:02,700 You guys stay here, I'm going to get help. 885 00:41:02,702 --> 00:41:04,236 [coughing] 886 00:41:04,238 --> 00:41:05,671 [retching] 887 00:41:06,739 --> 00:41:08,240 [Alan] I am so sorry. 888 00:41:08,242 --> 00:41:09,374 They told me that it would keep the bears away, 889 00:41:09,376 --> 00:41:11,243 but they didn't tell me how to use it. 890 00:41:11,245 --> 00:41:12,945 I'm definitely writing them a letter. 891 00:41:13,746 --> 00:41:14,947 You can take that to the bank. 892 00:41:15,615 --> 00:41:17,215 Oh, is there anything that I can do? 893 00:41:17,217 --> 00:41:19,919 You know, they tell me that I do some pretty good head scratches. 894 00:41:20,853 --> 00:41:23,788 Here we go. Break an egg on your head... 895 00:41:23,790 --> 00:41:25,723 - [coughing] - ...and the yolk runs down. 896 00:41:25,725 --> 00:41:26,959 Just get me a beer, bud. 897 00:41:28,162 --> 00:41:30,197 Don't you think it's a little early in the day for alcohol? 898 00:41:30,963 --> 00:41:33,198 - What's that? - For alcohol, I think it's a little early. 899 00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:36,033 I mean, I'm generally like a after five o'clock boy, 900 00:41:36,035 --> 00:41:37,570 but you know what? 901 00:41:38,205 --> 00:41:40,971 We're all men here, doing guy stuff, right? 902 00:41:40,973 --> 00:41:42,740 I have just the thing. 903 00:41:42,742 --> 00:41:45,976 Oh, oh, you guys, wait for the party to explode. 904 00:41:45,978 --> 00:41:48,148 Hang on, you're going to feel a whole lot better in a second. 905 00:41:49,249 --> 00:41:52,850 - I was saving this for your mom and I... - [coughing] 906 00:41:52,852 --> 00:41:55,688 ...but when the cat's away, the mice will play. 907 00:41:58,024 --> 00:41:59,357 Here you go. 908 00:41:59,359 --> 00:42:02,059 Now, some ground rules. 909 00:42:02,061 --> 00:42:05,363 As long as everybody does this within reason, 910 00:42:05,365 --> 00:42:07,665 and there's no bad decisions that are made. 911 00:42:07,667 --> 00:42:09,733 - Of course. - We take actions that honor our bodies, 912 00:42:09,735 --> 00:42:16,108 I think that we can have ourselves a good old time in style. 913 00:42:16,110 --> 00:42:18,112 Anybody up for a little brown sackin' it? 914 00:42:18,811 --> 00:42:20,713 - Brown sackin' it? - Yeah. 915 00:42:21,415 --> 00:42:23,714 See, this is what happens. We just kind of loosen up. 916 00:42:23,716 --> 00:42:25,352 We break down some walls. 917 00:42:26,186 --> 00:42:28,919 Who wants to be the first to sip the sack? 918 00:42:28,921 --> 00:42:30,222 Come on, don't be shy. 919 00:42:30,224 --> 00:42:33,991 Who's ready to put their lips to the old brownie? 920 00:42:33,993 --> 00:42:36,927 You know what? Brown me up. 921 00:42:36,929 --> 00:42:38,296 [chuckles] My man! 922 00:42:38,298 --> 00:42:39,333 Right, guys? 923 00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:41,266 Go to brown town. 924 00:42:41,268 --> 00:42:45,903 Now, Kevin, I think it's only fair that as eldest, 925 00:42:45,905 --> 00:42:48,406 the brownie would be Adam's birthright. 926 00:42:48,408 --> 00:42:49,343 Adam? 927 00:42:50,710 --> 00:42:51,411 Adam? 928 00:42:52,945 --> 00:42:56,714 Do you want to be the first to take a big swallow from the old man pouch? 929 00:42:56,716 --> 00:42:57,848 Don't be rude, Adam. 930 00:42:57,850 --> 00:43:00,653 Take a drink from Alan's mouthwatering old man pouch. 931 00:43:04,023 --> 00:43:05,259 [coughing] 932 00:43:07,194 --> 00:43:08,926 [Alan laughs] 933 00:43:08,928 --> 00:43:12,297 Oh, I don't Adam's ready for the old wrinkled wraparound. 934 00:43:12,299 --> 00:43:14,798 What the hell is this, man? Bloody Mary mix? 935 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,271 Well, I say we toast. 936 00:43:18,172 --> 00:43:20,773 To man pouches... 937 00:43:22,476 --> 00:43:23,910 fun times... 938 00:43:25,212 --> 00:43:29,013 - no plans. - I, sir, will drink to that, 939 00:43:29,015 --> 00:43:31,115 and I have another one. 940 00:43:31,117 --> 00:43:33,353 This is one is to the ladies in our lives. 941 00:43:34,421 --> 00:43:35,487 To a wonderful mother, of course. 942 00:43:35,489 --> 00:43:39,023 She's a wonderful woman, wonderful roommate too. 943 00:43:39,025 --> 00:43:42,360 And to Tim's future wife, Christy Borders. 944 00:43:42,362 --> 00:43:46,431 Christy Borders is a swamp woman with a glass eye and a shovel face, no thanks. 945 00:43:46,433 --> 00:43:48,266 [Alan chuckles] 946 00:43:48,268 --> 00:43:51,168 And I think Adam has a beautiful bride at home, 947 00:43:51,170 --> 00:43:53,505 if I'm not mistaken. I've seen some pictures of her. 948 00:43:53,507 --> 00:43:56,508 Ooh, here's to you, good sir. Hat's off to you. 949 00:43:56,510 --> 00:43:57,808 You know what's funny though? 950 00:43:57,810 --> 00:44:00,844 She looks just like the young lady 951 00:44:00,846 --> 00:44:03,180 that is our spin instructor over at Shapers, 952 00:44:03,182 --> 00:44:04,449 and I'll tell you something, 953 00:44:04,451 --> 00:44:06,351 that woman is a little firecracker. 954 00:44:06,353 --> 00:44:08,118 Oh, if I were a younger man. 955 00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:11,055 I put the boots to her! [grunts] 956 00:44:11,057 --> 00:44:14,259 Knocking the boots, making the bacon. 957 00:44:14,261 --> 00:44:15,928 Isn't Shapers just for women? 958 00:44:16,396 --> 00:44:17,861 Pretty sweet of Alan to notice 959 00:44:17,863 --> 00:44:19,997 how attractive your wife is, isn't he? 960 00:44:19,999 --> 00:44:24,302 Oh, come on. Any red-blooded man is going to notice a woman like that. 961 00:44:24,304 --> 00:44:27,439 You're just upset that he locked her down first. 962 00:44:27,441 --> 00:44:28,573 Here's to Katie, come on. 963 00:44:28,575 --> 00:44:31,509 - Katie, to Katie. - To Katie. 964 00:44:31,511 --> 00:44:33,110 [group] Katie, Katie, Katie! 965 00:44:33,112 --> 00:44:35,781 - Yeah! - [glass shatters] 966 00:44:36,983 --> 00:44:39,484 - Oh. - Whoops, uh-oh. 967 00:44:39,486 --> 00:44:42,186 - Clumsy. Just... - Oh, I'll get it. 968 00:44:42,188 --> 00:44:44,389 Uh, Tim, did you, um, 969 00:44:44,391 --> 00:44:49,193 did you have like a... like a plan or something that you wanted to do today? 970 00:44:49,195 --> 00:44:50,928 I may have mapped something out. 971 00:44:50,930 --> 00:44:52,896 Is that the map with all the dead Alans? 972 00:44:52,898 --> 00:44:54,834 Kev, you joker! 973 00:44:55,302 --> 00:44:57,868 Uh, Alan, I think we are going to need 974 00:44:57,870 --> 00:45:00,137 - some firewood for tonight. - Okay. 975 00:45:00,139 --> 00:45:02,975 I've got a map that will take us to the best spot, what do you say? 976 00:45:03,976 --> 00:45:05,175 Yeah, sure, that sounds great. 977 00:45:05,177 --> 00:45:07,447 - [playful music] - [Tim] Just a little bit higher, bud! 978 00:45:08,315 --> 00:45:10,948 The good one's at the top, you're doing great! 979 00:45:10,950 --> 00:45:12,952 Yeah? Okay. 980 00:45:14,086 --> 00:45:17,455 Hey, uh, what about, uh, what about this one? 981 00:45:17,457 --> 00:45:19,524 No, no, that won't burn. 982 00:45:19,526 --> 00:45:21,359 Up top, let's not make a thing out of this. 983 00:45:21,361 --> 00:45:23,861 But this one's got, like, kindling on it. 984 00:45:23,863 --> 00:45:25,131 Got to have that top wood, bud! 985 00:45:26,832 --> 00:45:30,100 About time you came around, man. We were like ten minutes away from a show tunes review. 986 00:45:30,102 --> 00:45:32,838 Yeah, man, you're right. This guy's got to go. 987 00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:37,609 And you know, if this map is the way to do it, 988 00:45:37,611 --> 00:45:38,942 then I guess it's worth a shot. 989 00:45:38,944 --> 00:45:40,645 Sounds good to me. Kev, you in? 990 00:45:40,647 --> 00:45:41,448 [Alan whimpers] 991 00:45:42,582 --> 00:45:45,017 I've dedicated my life to pacifism, so. 992 00:45:46,486 --> 00:45:47,352 Great, Kev's in. 993 00:45:47,354 --> 00:45:50,022 I, I do draw the line at murder though. 994 00:45:50,923 --> 00:45:53,023 - [Alan] Whoa, ah! - [branches snapping] 995 00:45:53,025 --> 00:45:55,261 - [clattering] - [Alan groans] 996 00:45:56,162 --> 00:45:57,163 Sweet. 997 00:45:59,899 --> 00:46:03,200 [suspenseful music] 998 00:46:03,202 --> 00:46:04,436 How many fingers am I holding up? 999 00:46:04,438 --> 00:46:06,972 Three? Good job. You're going to be fine. 1000 00:46:08,240 --> 00:46:09,576 [Alan] Am I still falling? 1001 00:46:12,679 --> 00:46:16,282 A dark evil has awakened. You need to flee this place. 1002 00:46:17,283 --> 00:46:21,051 Oh, nonsense, it's just a scratch. 1003 00:46:21,053 --> 00:46:23,421 Hey, Kev? Do me a favor, 1004 00:46:23,423 --> 00:46:26,190 there's a lot of good wood that came down with me. 1005 00:46:26,192 --> 00:46:27,525 It's all over there in the woods. 1006 00:46:27,527 --> 00:46:29,293 Just, just pick it up, would you? 1007 00:46:29,295 --> 00:46:32,262 [playful music] 1008 00:46:32,264 --> 00:46:35,467 So, uh, Al, you ever start a fire before? 1009 00:46:35,469 --> 00:46:37,968 No. Confidentiality, Tim, your mother and I... 1010 00:46:37,970 --> 00:46:39,704 - That's great, man. Hey, Kev. - [Kevin] Yeah? 1011 00:46:39,706 --> 00:46:43,006 Why don't you come over here and show Alan how to start a Man Camp fire. 1012 00:46:43,008 --> 00:46:44,341 Oh, sure. 1013 00:46:44,343 --> 00:46:47,344 You take, uh, this is called a flint. 1014 00:46:47,346 --> 00:46:51,949 And you take, uh, the back of a knife and just get going. 1015 00:46:51,951 --> 00:46:53,418 Oh, that's good, you're getting some sparks. 1016 00:46:53,420 --> 00:46:54,419 Really getting some sparks there. 1017 00:46:54,421 --> 00:46:56,353 Oh, let me, I think I can do that. Thank you. 1018 00:46:56,355 --> 00:46:58,088 - Yes! - There you go, bud. 1019 00:46:58,090 --> 00:46:59,591 Now you got a spark going there. 1020 00:46:59,593 --> 00:47:01,158 - Oh! - All right, Al. 1021 00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:03,060 You got it, you're like a firecracker. 1022 00:47:03,062 --> 00:47:05,898 - Al, come on over, man. Try it on the pile. - [Alan] Me? 1023 00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:08,999 - [Tim] Yeah, you're good. - Let me get in close. 1024 00:47:09,001 --> 00:47:09,669 Oh! 1025 00:47:10,737 --> 00:47:13,507 - [explosion rumbles] - Ah! 1026 00:47:16,510 --> 00:47:18,041 I think I saw Satan. 1027 00:47:18,043 --> 00:47:20,578 [heavy guitar music] 1028 00:47:20,580 --> 00:47:23,013 - Oh! - Yes! 1029 00:47:23,015 --> 00:47:24,283 Oh! 1030 00:47:27,019 --> 00:47:28,986 - Oh. - A little much for you there, Al? 1031 00:47:28,988 --> 00:47:31,088 Ew, no, there beer is not right. 1032 00:47:31,090 --> 00:47:32,492 There's something wrong there. 1033 00:47:34,193 --> 00:47:36,293 - Asparagus. - [Adam] Timbo? 1034 00:47:36,295 --> 00:47:38,998 Timbo, it's your shot, I'm killing it out here, man. 1035 00:47:39,999 --> 00:47:42,001 - Tim? - Tim! 1036 00:47:43,335 --> 00:47:44,301 Ugh. 1037 00:47:44,303 --> 00:47:45,337 Tim? 1038 00:47:46,540 --> 00:47:49,474 Your pound, Tim. It's our shot, bud. [knocking] Bud? 1039 00:47:49,476 --> 00:47:51,576 [door squeaks] 1040 00:47:51,578 --> 00:47:52,512 Tim? 1041 00:47:58,284 --> 00:47:59,218 Tim? 1042 00:48:00,754 --> 00:48:02,554 - [dramatic music] - [Adam shrieks] 1043 00:48:02,556 --> 00:48:05,590 Shh, shh, shh. It's me, it's me. 1044 00:48:05,592 --> 00:48:08,292 [playful music] 1045 00:48:08,294 --> 00:48:11,195 - Are you in blackface? - What? 1046 00:48:11,197 --> 00:48:13,430 No, it's Navy Seal camo paint, don't be such a noob. 1047 00:48:13,432 --> 00:48:16,400 - What are you doing? - Going commando for this next phase. 1048 00:48:16,402 --> 00:48:18,235 What does that have to do with anything? 1049 00:48:18,237 --> 00:48:19,704 Just get Alan out about 15 yards 1050 00:48:19,706 --> 00:48:21,106 into the woods towards the creek. 1051 00:48:22,041 --> 00:48:22,973 - Okay. - Okay. 1052 00:48:22,975 --> 00:48:27,077 Hey, um, did you pee in one of the cups? 1053 00:48:27,079 --> 00:48:28,780 I peed in all the cups. 1054 00:48:28,782 --> 00:48:31,016 It's my signature move. Everybody loses. 1055 00:48:34,721 --> 00:48:36,253 - You rolled a four. - No! 1056 00:48:36,255 --> 00:48:37,489 [laughing] 1057 00:48:37,491 --> 00:48:40,390 I mean, talk about a critical fail. 1058 00:48:40,392 --> 00:48:42,794 So he garrisoned on an enchantment. 1059 00:48:42,796 --> 00:48:45,329 - [laughing] - Exactly! Exactly! 1060 00:48:45,331 --> 00:48:48,265 - That's unbelievable! - Unbelievable! 1061 00:48:48,267 --> 00:48:49,834 You, don't even worry about it, 1062 00:48:49,836 --> 00:48:51,803 because we're just rapping some DandD here. 1063 00:48:51,805 --> 00:48:53,538 - He don't know. - You don't know. 1064 00:48:53,540 --> 00:48:57,274 You guys having, like, a fellowship together? 1065 00:48:57,276 --> 00:48:58,776 [laughing] 1066 00:48:58,778 --> 00:49:02,514 - Yes, and no, it's more of a guild than a fellowship. - Yeah! [chuckles] 1067 00:49:02,516 --> 00:49:06,116 Alan, actually uh, I need you to go down um, to the creek 1068 00:49:06,118 --> 00:49:10,254 to um, get something from the creek. 1069 00:49:10,256 --> 00:49:12,322 What, is it a secret? 1070 00:49:12,324 --> 00:49:13,758 Uh, water... water. 1071 00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:15,227 For breakfast tomorrow. 1072 00:49:18,364 --> 00:49:21,265 - But can't we just use the sink? - It's not potable. 1073 00:49:21,267 --> 00:49:24,301 Listen, Alan, we all got to pull our weight around here. 1074 00:49:24,303 --> 00:49:26,638 Can you just head down there and get that? 1075 00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:30,577 I will be back before you can say prestidigitation. 1076 00:49:32,244 --> 00:49:33,778 - [metal clanks] - [Alan] Whoops! 1077 00:49:33,780 --> 00:49:37,082 The, the creek, it's swarming with Giardia. 1078 00:49:37,884 --> 00:49:39,351 Yeah, probably. 1079 00:49:41,153 --> 00:49:44,490 [playful suspenseful music] 1080 00:49:45,892 --> 00:49:51,631 Low, medium, high, full. 1081 00:49:54,668 --> 00:49:57,303 [footsteps crunching] 1082 00:49:57,771 --> 00:49:59,271 There you are, buddy. 1083 00:49:59,773 --> 00:50:02,508 - What are we doing? - Shh! Watching. 1084 00:50:04,578 --> 00:50:07,712 Go get some water, I can do that easy enough, 1085 00:50:07,714 --> 00:50:09,814 as soon as I find the creek. 1086 00:50:09,816 --> 00:50:11,181 [suspenseful music] 1087 00:50:11,183 --> 00:50:15,855 - "Professional Strength Electrified Animal Fence." - There you go. 1088 00:50:18,357 --> 00:50:20,792 There you go, keep walking. 1089 00:50:20,794 --> 00:50:23,728 So, I guess everybody's got to do their share. 1090 00:50:23,730 --> 00:50:25,362 Everybody's got to carry their weight. 1091 00:50:25,364 --> 00:50:26,565 What did he mean by that? 1092 00:50:27,299 --> 00:50:29,701 It sounded like kind of a fat crack to me. 1093 00:50:29,703 --> 00:50:31,671 Right into my little... 1094 00:50:33,673 --> 00:50:35,441 - [metal bucket clanks] - What's he doing? 1095 00:50:36,375 --> 00:50:39,476 [urine splashing] 1096 00:50:39,478 --> 00:50:41,244 Dammit, he's taking a piss. 1097 00:50:41,246 --> 00:50:42,780 Hey, are you sure this is safe? 1098 00:50:42,782 --> 00:50:46,651 [suspenseful music] 1099 00:50:46,653 --> 00:50:47,821 Alan! 1100 00:50:48,822 --> 00:50:49,954 [electricity zapping] 1101 00:50:49,956 --> 00:50:54,728 [energetic rock music] 1102 00:50:55,795 --> 00:50:57,227 Oh, shit! 1103 00:50:57,229 --> 00:50:58,497 Dude, dude! 1104 00:50:59,465 --> 00:51:00,330 Sick. 1105 00:51:00,332 --> 00:51:02,432 - What happened? - I don't know, Kevin. 1106 00:51:02,434 --> 00:51:03,635 - Alan? - What? 1107 00:51:03,637 --> 00:51:05,302 - Alan, are you okay? - Oh, my God. 1108 00:51:05,304 --> 00:51:07,839 - Is he okay? - I don't know, Kevin! 1109 00:51:07,841 --> 00:51:09,841 Mom, is it time for school? 1110 00:51:09,843 --> 00:51:11,341 Let's get him to the couch. 1111 00:51:11,343 --> 00:51:13,477 Alan, hey, you okay, bud? 1112 00:51:13,479 --> 00:51:14,979 - What, what? - Are you going to be all right? 1113 00:51:14,981 --> 00:51:16,513 - Who, me? - Yeah. 1114 00:51:16,515 --> 00:51:18,850 [Alan] Oh, no, I mean, no, I'm fine. 1115 00:51:18,852 --> 00:51:21,653 Hey, guys, what'd I miss? Woof, what happened to you? 1116 00:51:21,655 --> 00:51:22,689 Oh, I don't know. 1117 00:51:23,657 --> 00:51:25,255 I just relieving myself, 1118 00:51:25,257 --> 00:51:28,558 and then I heard Kevin calling me over, and then 1119 00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:30,527 from out of nowhere this surge of, 1120 00:51:30,529 --> 00:51:33,931 this surge of energy entered from my, my penis. 1121 00:51:33,933 --> 00:51:36,299 And then it just electrified my entire body. 1122 00:51:36,301 --> 00:51:39,636 We didn't ask what happened the first time you saw a dolphin jump. 1123 00:51:39,638 --> 00:51:40,740 What happened outside? 1124 00:51:41,908 --> 00:51:43,943 - Are you going to be all right, Alan? - I don't know. 1125 00:51:44,678 --> 00:51:48,012 I mean, I think so, I just, I don't know what happened. 1126 00:51:48,014 --> 00:51:49,747 Heat lightning probably. 1127 00:51:49,749 --> 00:51:52,582 You must have some extremely high iron levels in your piss. 1128 00:51:52,584 --> 00:51:53,718 Must've attracted a bolt. 1129 00:51:53,720 --> 00:51:56,553 That's weird, because in my research, 1130 00:51:56,555 --> 00:51:58,655 urine was always a poor conductor. 1131 00:51:58,657 --> 00:52:02,392 You know what, Alan? Let's, uh, let's get you to bed, come on. 1132 00:52:02,394 --> 00:52:04,996 Okay, do I have to go in the tent? 1133 00:52:04,998 --> 00:52:07,965 Uh, yeah, yeah. 1134 00:52:07,967 --> 00:52:11,301 Oh, okay, well, that's only fair. 1135 00:52:11,303 --> 00:52:13,205 Hey, could one of you guys zip me up? 1136 00:52:14,273 --> 00:52:16,339 [water splashing] 1137 00:52:16,341 --> 00:52:18,442 A-1 in the books, nice work, boys. 1138 00:52:18,444 --> 00:52:21,380 That was all on your map, was it? 1139 00:52:23,750 --> 00:52:24,882 I don't want any part of this. 1140 00:52:24,884 --> 00:52:28,052 You're just, you're just bullying him! 1141 00:52:28,054 --> 00:52:29,856 Like you bully everybody else! 1142 00:52:30,724 --> 00:52:32,957 Cool, so you're just going to let him marry Mom 1143 00:52:32,959 --> 00:52:34,859 and have their little happily ever after? 1144 00:52:34,861 --> 00:52:36,359 I don't think it'd be the worst thing in the world. 1145 00:52:36,361 --> 00:52:37,496 Cool! 1146 00:52:43,002 --> 00:52:44,904 - So, you find a new place to live yet? - [beer can pops open] 1147 00:52:46,973 --> 00:52:51,008 Well, once they're married and he's all moved in, 1148 00:52:51,010 --> 00:52:52,678 they're not just going to want you hanging around. 1149 00:52:53,545 --> 00:52:55,614 You don't know that. Adam? 1150 00:53:00,019 --> 00:53:01,720 He's got a point, Kev. 1151 00:53:02,789 --> 00:53:06,423 No, Alan and I, we're in a guild, okay? 1152 00:53:06,425 --> 00:53:08,525 So, he'd never betray me. 1153 00:53:08,527 --> 00:53:10,393 [Tim] Things change, Kevin. 1154 00:53:10,395 --> 00:53:11,330 Guilds break up. 1155 00:53:12,364 --> 00:53:13,798 Once he moves in, 1156 00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:17,434 your little Friday fro-yo dates with Mom, bye bye. 1157 00:53:17,436 --> 00:53:19,871 Mac and cheese ready every day at 12:30? 1158 00:53:19,873 --> 00:53:21,404 Nope. 1159 00:53:21,406 --> 00:53:23,841 Your movie spot on the couch, your favorite spot. 1160 00:53:23,843 --> 00:53:25,243 - No! - Effing ta-ta, man. 1161 00:53:25,245 --> 00:53:29,013 I... I mean, you probably stand to lose more in this than any of us, 1162 00:53:29,015 --> 00:53:32,349 and we're not saying you can't be friends, 1163 00:53:32,351 --> 00:53:34,986 but we need to put a stop to this wedding. 1164 00:53:34,988 --> 00:53:35,789 Think about it. 1165 00:53:38,057 --> 00:53:39,658 I need to be alone with my thoughts. 1166 00:53:48,835 --> 00:53:51,803 - I think we got him. - That shit you pulled tonight was too far. 1167 00:53:51,805 --> 00:53:53,603 I explicitly said no murder. 1168 00:53:53,605 --> 00:53:55,574 You pull that shit again and I'm done. 1169 00:53:57,776 --> 00:53:59,711 Last I checked, the guy's not dead. 1170 00:54:01,413 --> 00:54:02,414 [phone chimes] 1171 00:54:06,385 --> 00:54:07,719 Pfft, vomit. 1172 00:54:15,094 --> 00:54:16,896 [door creaks] 1173 00:54:18,164 --> 00:54:21,464 [light twinkling music] 1174 00:54:21,466 --> 00:54:22,434 Hey, Timmy. 1175 00:54:22,969 --> 00:54:23,837 Christy? 1176 00:54:25,171 --> 00:54:27,939 What are you doing here? Go away, you're gross. 1177 00:54:27,941 --> 00:54:29,108 Oh, really? 1178 00:54:29,943 --> 00:54:31,376 Is this gross? 1179 00:54:32,846 --> 00:54:34,411 Yes. 1180 00:54:34,413 --> 00:54:35,614 What about this? 1181 00:54:37,016 --> 00:54:39,016 - Uh... - Mm-hmm? 1182 00:54:39,018 --> 00:54:43,187 [sensual RandB music] 1183 00:54:43,189 --> 00:54:44,922 I got something else for you. 1184 00:54:44,924 --> 00:54:46,092 Oh. 1185 00:54:47,093 --> 00:54:49,126 These, bills to pay! 1186 00:54:49,128 --> 00:54:51,128 - What? - Tiffany has horseback riding lessons 1187 00:54:51,130 --> 00:54:52,529 and you're behind on the payments. 1188 00:54:52,531 --> 00:54:54,564 - No! - I've got bible study. 1189 00:54:54,566 --> 00:54:55,867 - What? - That's $60 a day. 1190 00:54:55,869 --> 00:54:58,702 For what? That should be free! 1191 00:54:58,704 --> 00:55:00,104 Did you pick up the kids from soccer practice? 1192 00:55:00,106 --> 00:55:01,738 We don't have kids. 1193 00:55:01,740 --> 00:55:05,442 - Timmy, Penelope, Julep, Jeremiah. - Oh, my God! 1194 00:55:05,444 --> 00:55:07,912 Andy, and Molly, I'm forgetting someone. 1195 00:55:07,914 --> 00:55:09,113 [screaming] 1196 00:55:09,115 --> 00:55:10,114 Julep's a Boy Scout now. 1197 00:55:10,116 --> 00:55:11,949 - He wants you to be the team leader. - No! 1198 00:55:11,951 --> 00:55:13,617 There's some logs that need splitting outside. 1199 00:55:13,619 --> 00:55:14,952 - [screaming] - [dramatic music] 1200 00:55:14,954 --> 00:55:19,893 [breathing heavily] 1201 00:55:23,229 --> 00:55:24,796 [beer can pops open] 1202 00:55:26,132 --> 00:55:28,765 [glugging beer] 1203 00:55:28,767 --> 00:55:31,436 [bacon sizzling] 1204 00:55:33,505 --> 00:55:35,174 Did you think at all about what we talked about last night? 1205 00:55:36,109 --> 00:55:37,509 We'll see what happens. 1206 00:55:39,611 --> 00:55:40,545 [Tim] Oh, morning, sunshine. 1207 00:55:41,114 --> 00:55:42,681 Glad you could join the men. 1208 00:55:43,216 --> 00:55:44,714 Did you get your hair curled just right? 1209 00:55:44,716 --> 00:55:47,517 Eat it, dude. I was FaceTiming with Katie and Max. 1210 00:55:47,519 --> 00:55:51,088 FaceTiming at Man Camp? Dude, you are so whipped. [imitates whipping] 1211 00:55:51,090 --> 00:55:52,791 [chuckles] 1212 00:55:55,161 --> 00:55:56,528 What are you doing? 1213 00:55:57,263 --> 00:56:00,764 I was just thinking about Katie whipping me 1214 00:56:00,766 --> 00:56:02,801 with, like, a little Indiana Jones hat on or something. 1215 00:56:03,802 --> 00:56:05,937 That body belongs in a museum. 1216 00:56:05,939 --> 00:56:06,903 [laughing] 1217 00:56:06,905 --> 00:56:07,906 You guys are going to Hell. 1218 00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:11,843 - Temple of Do Me. - [laughing] 1219 00:56:16,515 --> 00:56:18,848 - Alan still asleep? - Yeah. 1220 00:56:18,850 --> 00:56:19,986 We should probably wake him up. 1221 00:56:20,652 --> 00:56:24,989 [playful suspenseful music] 1222 00:56:24,991 --> 00:56:26,092 [Alan snoring] 1223 00:56:32,531 --> 00:56:33,930 [growling] 1224 00:56:33,932 --> 00:56:37,168 [screaming] Bear! 1225 00:56:37,170 --> 00:56:41,838 [shrieking] 1226 00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:43,274 Bear, Bear! 1227 00:56:43,276 --> 00:56:46,812 [energetic music] 1228 00:56:48,814 --> 00:56:52,651 [playful suspenseful music] 1229 00:56:59,624 --> 00:57:03,129 [bees buzzing] 1230 00:57:10,869 --> 00:57:13,505 - [bees buzzing loudly] - Kevin! 1231 00:57:15,041 --> 00:57:18,744 [playful suspenseful music] 1232 00:57:20,712 --> 00:57:21,847 [Alan screams] 1233 00:57:40,333 --> 00:57:41,698 [explosion rumbles] 1234 00:57:41,700 --> 00:57:42,766 [fireworks whizzing] 1235 00:57:42,768 --> 00:57:45,804 [Alan screaming] 1236 00:58:05,258 --> 00:58:07,358 [water splashing] 1237 00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:10,061 Oh, that was so close! 1238 00:58:10,063 --> 00:58:11,297 I almost had it! 1239 00:58:13,965 --> 00:58:16,133 [sighs] How long has he been out there? 1240 00:58:16,135 --> 00:58:18,001 [Tim] Like, 45 minutes. 1241 00:58:18,003 --> 00:58:20,870 I don't get it, he should have severe hypothermia by now, 1242 00:58:20,872 --> 00:58:21,907 like near death. 1243 00:58:23,675 --> 00:58:24,841 [Alan groans] 1244 00:58:24,843 --> 00:58:26,976 Man, he's really going for it out there. 1245 00:58:26,978 --> 00:58:29,045 I got to hand it to him, I mean, 1246 00:58:29,047 --> 00:58:31,748 he might be a dumb ass but he's a committed one. 1247 00:58:31,750 --> 00:58:33,650 Yeah, well, you know, 1248 00:58:33,652 --> 00:58:35,352 at least somebody's not afraid of commitment. 1249 00:58:35,354 --> 00:58:37,290 [Tim] Is that supposed to make me upset? Because it doesn't. 1250 00:58:37,956 --> 00:58:39,390 Getting married, having kids, that's great. 1251 00:58:39,392 --> 00:58:40,424 - But... - [insect buzzing] 1252 00:58:40,426 --> 00:58:42,659 ...you're not always going to be there for him, 1253 00:58:42,661 --> 00:58:44,230 and I'm not going to put another kid through that. 1254 00:58:45,063 --> 00:58:46,397 Look at Kev. 1255 00:58:46,399 --> 00:58:47,231 [Adam] So weird, dude. 1256 00:58:47,233 --> 00:58:49,400 This guy's going to be our stepdad? 1257 00:58:49,402 --> 00:58:51,000 Dad would be so pissed. 1258 00:58:51,002 --> 00:58:52,136 [Kevin] Dad wouldn't be pissed, guys. 1259 00:58:52,138 --> 00:58:56,739 What was that, um, that saying that he came up with? 1260 00:58:56,741 --> 00:58:58,908 "Never judge a book by its cover." 1261 00:58:58,910 --> 00:59:02,246 - Kevin, Dad didn't make that up, that's like... - Literally everyone says that. 1262 00:59:02,248 --> 00:59:03,746 - Every dad. - Everyone says that. 1263 00:59:03,748 --> 00:59:06,683 Oh, got it! I got one! 1264 00:59:06,685 --> 00:59:07,750 - Oh, shit! - I got it! 1265 00:59:07,752 --> 00:59:10,387 - Oh! - Oh, my God, it's screaming! 1266 00:59:10,389 --> 00:59:12,689 It's screaming! Fish scream? 1267 00:59:12,691 --> 00:59:14,958 Oh, my God! Someone, please, help! 1268 00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:17,394 - Help! - Not living things, Alan, remember! 1269 00:59:17,396 --> 00:59:18,928 Veggies of the sea. 1270 00:59:18,930 --> 00:59:21,232 - Ugh! - You got to put it out of its misery, bud. 1271 00:59:21,234 --> 00:59:22,333 Most people like... 1272 00:59:22,335 --> 00:59:24,468 [all groaning] 1273 00:59:24,470 --> 00:59:26,137 - Oh! - what? 1274 00:59:26,139 --> 00:59:27,404 [Tim] Wow! 1275 00:59:27,406 --> 00:59:29,772 [coughing] 1276 00:59:29,774 --> 00:59:31,342 I hope you're happy! 1277 00:59:31,344 --> 00:59:34,077 Well done, you sick son of a bitch. 1278 00:59:34,079 --> 00:59:35,745 [fish sizzling] 1279 00:59:35,747 --> 00:59:37,248 So, let me get this straight. 1280 00:59:37,250 --> 00:59:39,483 I said put it out of its misery, 1281 00:59:39,485 --> 00:59:41,352 and you first thought is let me bite 1282 00:59:41,354 --> 00:59:43,753 this creature's head off like a monster? 1283 00:59:43,755 --> 00:59:46,357 Well, it seemed the closest type of death 1284 00:59:46,359 --> 00:59:48,126 that it might've faced in the natural world. 1285 00:59:49,395 --> 00:59:50,396 I respect that actually. 1286 00:59:53,232 --> 00:59:55,432 You know that was a setup, right? 1287 00:59:55,434 --> 00:59:58,169 Like a joke we play on people that are stupid enough 1288 00:59:58,171 --> 01:00:00,404 to think you can actually catch a fish like that. 1289 01:00:00,406 --> 01:00:02,339 Yeah, that part was pretty obvious. 1290 01:00:02,341 --> 01:00:04,275 Well, then why didn't you just stand up for yourself? 1291 01:00:04,277 --> 01:00:06,212 What, so you could electrocute me on something else? 1292 01:00:07,946 --> 01:00:12,115 I went in that water with that ridiculous little spear 1293 01:00:12,117 --> 01:00:13,450 to make a statement to you boys 1294 01:00:13,452 --> 01:00:15,319 that there's nothing I wouldn't do 1295 01:00:15,321 --> 01:00:18,154 to try to make it work with this family, on your terms, not mine. 1296 01:00:18,156 --> 01:00:20,224 I'd have stayed out there all night, 1297 01:00:20,226 --> 01:00:24,060 until either you broke or I stabbed a damn fish. 1298 01:00:24,062 --> 01:00:28,232 I mean, it was supposed to be this big cathartic symbol. 1299 01:00:28,234 --> 01:00:30,334 Then I actually pierced one's skin, 1300 01:00:30,336 --> 01:00:32,904 and it shrieked, and I just panicked. 1301 01:00:34,240 --> 01:00:35,838 Well, well done. 1302 01:00:35,840 --> 01:00:37,142 Yeah, thanks. 1303 01:00:38,678 --> 01:00:40,910 But if you think it's going to be that easy, you got another thing coming. 1304 01:00:40,912 --> 01:00:42,346 You got a lot to live up to 1305 01:00:42,348 --> 01:00:44,383 when it comes to marriage number one. 1306 01:00:45,551 --> 01:00:47,886 I know he'll always be her soulmate, Tim. 1307 01:00:49,322 --> 01:00:51,455 And that's the way it should be. 1308 01:00:51,457 --> 01:00:53,823 He must've been a hell of a man. 1309 01:00:53,825 --> 01:00:55,459 I... I wish I had met him. 1310 01:00:55,461 --> 01:00:58,828 [light instrumental music] 1311 01:00:58,830 --> 01:01:00,832 I'm just glad she likes being around me. 1312 01:01:04,936 --> 01:01:06,405 Well, I'm going to put on some dry clothes. 1313 01:01:19,150 --> 01:01:21,920 Everybody hydrate and tell your wives and kids you love them. 1314 01:01:22,854 --> 01:01:24,122 We're going to Curly's. 1315 01:01:24,923 --> 01:01:26,923 Come on, you bitch. This is happening, okay? 1316 01:01:26,925 --> 01:01:28,024 Don't make me take you by force. 1317 01:01:28,026 --> 01:01:30,394 I promised Katie that I would never go back there, 1318 01:01:30,396 --> 01:01:31,428 not after last time. 1319 01:01:31,430 --> 01:01:32,663 Come on, dude. 1320 01:01:32,665 --> 01:01:35,566 The charges were dropped, and the guy didn't die, I mean... 1321 01:01:35,568 --> 01:01:38,935 Didn't die? That's your qualification for everything being fine, 1322 01:01:38,937 --> 01:01:41,170 - that he didn't die. - How else are we supposed to bond 1323 01:01:41,172 --> 01:01:44,475 with wiener lips back here if we don't take him to Curly's? 1324 01:01:44,477 --> 01:01:46,379 It's what separates the men from the boys. 1325 01:01:48,146 --> 01:01:50,046 Adam, bro. 1326 01:01:50,048 --> 01:01:51,317 [knocking car] 1327 01:01:56,087 --> 01:01:57,088 Fine. 1328 01:01:58,457 --> 01:02:02,393 But... phones are locked in the glove box. 1329 01:02:02,395 --> 01:02:06,229 No evidence, and two drink max, okay? 1330 01:02:06,231 --> 01:02:07,198 Totes, dude. 1331 01:02:07,932 --> 01:02:11,968 Two more moonshines, please! 1332 01:02:11,970 --> 01:02:14,170 Three, Kevin? Kevin, you having a moonshine? 1333 01:02:14,172 --> 01:02:16,039 I switched to water an hour ago. 1334 01:02:16,041 --> 01:02:17,441 Kevin switched to water an hour ago. 1335 01:02:17,443 --> 01:02:19,576 Could you lift your chin just a little... 1336 01:02:19,578 --> 01:02:20,479 Perfect. 1337 01:02:21,246 --> 01:02:23,279 Thank you. Where's Alan? 1338 01:02:23,281 --> 01:02:24,548 Where's that guy? 1339 01:02:24,550 --> 01:02:27,486 [twangy country music] 1340 01:02:29,287 --> 01:02:32,556 Now, dude, if you hurt my mom, she's a good dude. 1341 01:02:32,558 --> 01:02:33,892 If you hurt her... 1342 01:02:36,895 --> 01:02:38,294 - Wow. - Get it? 1343 01:02:38,296 --> 01:02:41,164 Okay, number one, I get what you're saying, 1344 01:02:41,166 --> 01:02:45,101 but hold your horses, because I love her, okay? 1345 01:02:45,103 --> 01:02:46,503 - Me too, me too. - So if you love someone... 1346 01:02:46,505 --> 01:02:48,339 I know you do, and I believe in that, 1347 01:02:48,341 --> 01:02:51,542 but if I love someone, I'm not going to hurt someone, 1348 01:02:51,544 --> 01:02:54,411 because she's my family, bro. Just like you are. 1349 01:02:54,413 --> 01:02:55,512 - You are family. - That's right. 1350 01:02:55,514 --> 01:02:57,947 - Never above you, never below you. - That's right. 1351 01:02:57,949 --> 01:02:59,452 - Always with you. - That's it. 1352 01:03:01,920 --> 01:03:03,387 - I hear, you know... - Ugh! 1353 01:03:03,389 --> 01:03:06,392 If somebody... to Katie... if somebody did something... 1354 01:03:07,992 --> 01:03:10,561 One time, this guy wrote something 1355 01:03:10,563 --> 01:03:14,531 - about her on a bathroom wall, dude. - No way! 1356 01:03:14,533 --> 01:03:17,033 - And I was... - Are you serious? 1357 01:03:17,035 --> 01:03:20,373 Oh, you, you killed him? 1358 01:03:21,407 --> 01:03:23,239 - I wanted to. - Oh. 1359 01:03:23,241 --> 01:03:26,610 I almost did. I still almost want to kill him, almost. 1360 01:03:26,612 --> 01:03:28,211 - Almost. - I'm going to do it. 1361 01:03:28,213 --> 01:03:30,079 I'm going to rough him up! 1362 01:03:30,081 --> 01:03:32,383 - I'm going to rough up Eric Brinkerhoff. - Yeah! 1363 01:03:32,385 --> 01:03:33,983 - Tim! - Come on! 1364 01:03:33,985 --> 01:03:38,323 What do they call a, uh, straight flush? 1365 01:03:40,024 --> 01:03:41,725 I think it's a win, right? 1366 01:03:41,727 --> 01:03:43,025 [scoffs] 1367 01:03:43,027 --> 01:03:45,396 Nice, eh. Enjoy the watch. 1368 01:03:45,398 --> 01:03:47,698 Thank you, big watch. 1369 01:03:47,700 --> 01:03:49,700 - I need your keys. - Ain't happening, bud. 1370 01:03:49,702 --> 01:03:51,968 - No, it's just me and Alan just... - All right, who's next? 1371 01:03:51,970 --> 01:03:54,203 Me and Alan are going to go rough up Eric, 1372 01:03:54,205 --> 01:03:56,239 Eric Brinkerhoff and I need the keys... 1373 01:03:56,241 --> 01:03:57,408 Hey, bud, why don't you sober up for a half hour, 1374 01:03:57,410 --> 01:04:00,446 then I'll go rough up Eric Brinkerface, okay? [chuckles] 1375 01:04:05,183 --> 01:04:06,419 Your wife is hot. 1376 01:04:07,486 --> 01:04:08,621 What are you looking at? 1377 01:04:09,755 --> 01:04:13,724 This one time, I got to second base with Katie Baker. 1378 01:04:13,726 --> 01:04:15,091 [echoing] 1379 01:04:15,093 --> 01:04:17,428 Katie Baker is my wife, you asshole! 1380 01:04:17,430 --> 01:04:18,662 We got a problem, son? 1381 01:04:18,664 --> 01:04:20,163 - [breaking glass] - [gasping] 1382 01:04:20,165 --> 01:04:21,230 Second base. 1383 01:04:21,232 --> 01:04:22,535 I'm about to rough you up! 1384 01:04:24,068 --> 01:04:26,570 [glass shattering] 1385 01:04:26,572 --> 01:04:27,438 Now if I could just get you to, 1386 01:04:27,440 --> 01:04:30,239 just turn to the light a little bit. 1387 01:04:30,241 --> 01:04:31,407 Cheek down. 1388 01:04:31,409 --> 01:04:33,075 - [shrieking] - [groaning] 1389 01:04:33,077 --> 01:04:35,044 - Like this? Mm-hmm. - [Kevin] Absolutely. 1390 01:04:35,046 --> 01:04:36,513 [grunting] 1391 01:04:36,515 --> 01:04:39,650 - Are you sure you never modeled before? - [chuckling] 1392 01:04:39,652 --> 01:04:41,050 That was good. 1393 01:04:41,052 --> 01:04:44,053 You have the brow line of a Nordic queen. 1394 01:04:44,055 --> 01:04:45,321 - [shouting] - [glass shattering] 1395 01:04:45,323 --> 01:04:46,958 I'm sure you get that all the time. 1396 01:04:47,693 --> 01:04:51,260 My daddy said I had the hardest forehead he'd ever seen. 1397 01:04:51,262 --> 01:04:52,195 Well, he's not wrong. 1398 01:04:52,197 --> 01:04:54,430 - It's hard. - [shouting] 1399 01:04:54,432 --> 01:04:58,234 And also pensive, inquisitive. 1400 01:04:58,236 --> 01:05:00,573 No, I ain't no inquisitiver. 1401 01:05:01,674 --> 01:05:04,273 Are you by any chance a Virgo? 1402 01:05:04,275 --> 01:05:07,345 Nope, not since I was 15. 1403 01:05:08,079 --> 01:05:09,615 [groaning] 1404 01:05:11,082 --> 01:05:13,416 - Daddy like. - [grunting] 1405 01:05:13,418 --> 01:05:16,118 You moron, you brought this on yourself. 1406 01:05:16,120 --> 01:05:18,054 [groaning] 1407 01:05:18,056 --> 01:05:19,623 Got him, go, go, go run! 1408 01:05:19,625 --> 01:05:21,224 I'll be right there! Uh, no. 1409 01:05:21,226 --> 01:05:22,425 No, no, no, don't fight it. 1410 01:05:22,427 --> 01:05:23,494 Don't fight it. 1411 01:05:23,496 --> 01:05:29,167 - [shrieking] - [fast country music] 1412 01:05:29,702 --> 01:05:32,268 - Holy shit, that was amazing, dude! - [horn honking] 1413 01:05:32,270 --> 01:05:34,538 Dude, we threw that guy! We threw him! 1414 01:05:34,540 --> 01:05:36,339 - [laughing] - We threw a guy! 1415 01:05:36,341 --> 01:05:39,275 And Alan, Alan with the choke hold, bro! 1416 01:05:39,277 --> 01:05:40,577 [laughing] 1417 01:05:40,579 --> 01:05:43,279 My man! Alan? 1418 01:05:43,281 --> 01:05:44,182 Alan? 1419 01:05:45,250 --> 01:05:46,550 We forgot Alan! 1420 01:05:46,552 --> 01:05:50,353 [country music] 1421 01:05:50,355 --> 01:05:51,289 Kevin. 1422 01:05:55,460 --> 01:05:57,126 What are they doing? 1423 01:05:57,128 --> 01:05:59,830 They're probably divvying up his personal effects. 1424 01:05:59,832 --> 01:06:02,733 - Yeah! - Now, I'm sure you're all wondering, 1425 01:06:02,735 --> 01:06:07,169 what happened to Lumpy's card, and it's right here! 1426 01:06:07,171 --> 01:06:09,305 - [cheering] - [applauding] 1427 01:06:09,307 --> 01:06:11,142 - [whistling] - Yeah! 1428 01:06:14,112 --> 01:06:16,647 Oh, my ride's here, got to go. [chuckles] 1429 01:06:16,649 --> 01:06:17,515 Like hell you do. 1430 01:06:18,884 --> 01:06:22,586 Curly, I'd like to buy these sons of bitches a round of drinks. 1431 01:06:22,588 --> 01:06:24,621 - [cheering] - Yeah! 1432 01:06:24,623 --> 01:06:27,325 [applauding] 1433 01:06:28,727 --> 01:06:31,496 - Home. - We're home! 1434 01:06:32,363 --> 01:06:34,898 Oh, man, I shouldn't have hit those cheese fries. 1435 01:06:34,900 --> 01:06:36,733 Where did you learn how to do that? 1436 01:06:36,735 --> 01:06:38,467 - What, the rear naked choke? - Yeah. 1437 01:06:38,469 --> 01:06:40,503 Oh, your mom and I, 1438 01:06:40,505 --> 01:06:43,439 see, we take a self-defense fitness class. 1439 01:06:43,441 --> 01:06:47,443 Every Tuesday at 11:30, that's actually, 1440 01:06:47,445 --> 01:06:49,780 that's why I go to Shapers, 1441 01:06:49,782 --> 01:06:53,349 and it is for women, just so you know, Kev, it is. 1442 01:06:53,351 --> 01:06:55,652 - [Tim laughs] - But you know what? 1443 01:06:55,654 --> 01:06:58,855 Old Tara, she gets a little self-conscious now and then 1444 01:06:58,857 --> 01:07:01,357 when she's trying something new, so I said, you know what? 1445 01:07:01,359 --> 01:07:03,660 - Taking care of Tara. - Taking care of Tara. 1446 01:07:03,662 --> 01:07:05,461 Well, I don't want to start crying, 1447 01:07:05,463 --> 01:07:07,598 but you know what I didn't know, 1448 01:07:07,600 --> 01:07:10,801 I didn't know that I would be using it like that. 1449 01:07:10,803 --> 01:07:14,170 [laughing] 1450 01:07:14,172 --> 01:07:15,573 Hiya! 1451 01:07:17,508 --> 01:07:18,574 Did anyone get a video? 1452 01:07:18,576 --> 01:07:22,178 No, because our phones were all locked in the truck. 1453 01:07:22,180 --> 01:07:25,381 - Thanks a lot, Adam. - Oh, Adam. 1454 01:07:25,383 --> 01:07:27,251 You're welcome, you guys. 1455 01:07:28,453 --> 01:07:31,187 I'll go get them for you guys. 1456 01:07:31,189 --> 01:07:35,224 Yeah, Alan, you're my new buddy. 1457 01:07:35,226 --> 01:07:40,296 You saved me with chokehold, because... oh, oh, oh. 1458 01:07:40,298 --> 01:07:42,666 Oh, it's Alan's phone. 1459 01:07:42,668 --> 01:07:47,773 Let's see, my friend Alan, what do you say to my mom? 1460 01:07:48,606 --> 01:07:51,307 "Hope you're having a nice time." 1461 01:07:51,309 --> 01:07:54,412 That's nice, what else have we got? 1462 01:07:56,682 --> 01:08:00,316 [suspenseful music] 1463 01:08:00,318 --> 01:08:04,622 Tim, Kevin, I got something to show you guys. 1464 01:08:09,862 --> 01:08:11,697 I got something to show you guys. 1465 01:08:17,468 --> 01:08:20,771 [light piano music] 1466 01:08:20,773 --> 01:08:23,606 [birds chirping] 1467 01:08:23,608 --> 01:08:25,474 Want me to roll again for you or? 1468 01:08:25,476 --> 01:08:26,577 Mm-hmm. 1469 01:08:28,847 --> 01:08:32,583 Oh, man, it feels so good to get a sleep in a bed again. 1470 01:08:33,251 --> 01:08:35,620 My man! [chuckles] 1471 01:08:36,989 --> 01:08:41,357 Well, boys, last day of Man Camp. Let's make it count. 1472 01:08:41,359 --> 01:08:43,292 - Hike up to the Hideaway. - Yeah. 1473 01:08:43,294 --> 01:08:45,628 Um, Alan, we're low on water again. 1474 01:08:45,630 --> 01:08:47,030 Would you mind running down to the creek 1475 01:08:47,032 --> 01:08:48,699 and filling us up before we head out? 1476 01:08:48,701 --> 01:08:50,803 [clicks tongue] Aces. 1477 01:08:52,670 --> 01:08:53,604 Dick pic. 1478 01:08:54,472 --> 01:08:56,574 Alan is sending dick pics. 1479 01:08:57,776 --> 01:08:58,877 See for yourself. 1480 01:09:03,614 --> 01:09:04,547 Are you sure that's him? 1481 01:09:04,549 --> 01:09:06,049 It's an email from a week ago. 1482 01:09:06,051 --> 01:09:08,051 Dude is sending dick pics. 1483 01:09:08,053 --> 01:09:11,287 - Gross, is that it? - What do you mean, is that it? 1484 01:09:11,289 --> 01:09:14,390 I mean, it's gross that you had see his situation, man, 1485 01:09:14,392 --> 01:09:17,326 and thank you for bestowing that honor on the rest of us, 1486 01:09:17,328 --> 01:09:19,662 really, thanks, but you know, 1487 01:09:19,664 --> 01:09:21,965 it's none of my business if him and Mom want to, 1488 01:09:21,967 --> 01:09:23,900 you know, do that. 1489 01:09:23,902 --> 01:09:26,370 Yeah, wha... what's the big deal? 1490 01:09:27,305 --> 01:09:31,007 Besides having forever X-ray vision into Alan's pants? 1491 01:09:31,009 --> 01:09:32,541 You know, that doesn't affect us, so. 1492 01:09:32,543 --> 01:09:33,910 Yeah, except that it does. 1493 01:09:33,912 --> 01:09:35,613 He's not sending them to Mom. 1494 01:09:36,547 --> 01:09:37,981 Check the outgoing message. 1495 01:09:37,983 --> 01:09:39,752 He's sending them to some lady named Sheila. 1496 01:09:41,319 --> 01:09:42,685 "Wow, that's really big. 1497 01:09:42,687 --> 01:09:44,655 You're going to need to come over soon." 1498 01:09:45,623 --> 01:09:46,724 What's the big deal? 1499 01:09:52,663 --> 01:09:54,831 [Tim screams] 1500 01:09:54,833 --> 01:09:56,867 Alan, how could you do this? How could you do this? 1501 01:09:56,869 --> 01:09:58,367 We were blood brothers in a guild. 1502 01:09:58,369 --> 01:09:59,903 This isn't a joke, Kevin. Mom's getting played. 1503 01:09:59,905 --> 01:10:01,637 DandD is not a joke. 1504 01:10:01,639 --> 01:10:03,706 - I'm calling Mom. - [Adam] Don't call her, okay? 1505 01:10:03,708 --> 01:10:05,407 This is a face to face conversation. 1506 01:10:05,409 --> 01:10:06,742 We'll tell her when we get home. 1507 01:10:06,744 --> 01:10:09,079 Tim, do not call her. 1508 01:10:09,081 --> 01:10:09,982 Kevin, come on. 1509 01:10:20,793 --> 01:10:24,863 [light instrumental music] 1510 01:10:30,135 --> 01:10:31,904 [birds chirping] 1511 01:10:37,475 --> 01:10:39,943 You know, just for the record, 1512 01:10:39,945 --> 01:10:42,946 I really like being at the cabin. Oh. 1513 01:10:42,948 --> 01:10:45,882 Last day of Man Camp, bud. We hike up to the Hideaway, it's tradition. 1514 01:10:45,884 --> 01:10:48,784 - Yeah, I know but I'm just getting a little winded here. - [Tim] Well, it's good for you. 1515 01:10:48,786 --> 01:10:51,154 Gets the heart pumping, blood flowing to the extremities. 1516 01:10:51,156 --> 01:10:52,923 I think I need to take a little breather. 1517 01:10:52,925 --> 01:10:55,058 There's a lone peak that opens up about a half mile. 1518 01:10:55,060 --> 01:10:56,625 I'll meet you up there. 1519 01:10:56,627 --> 01:10:59,830 You can't miss it, bulges up from the ground. 1520 01:10:59,832 --> 01:11:02,665 Strong, firm, ready to explode. 1521 01:11:02,667 --> 01:11:03,900 You'll want a pic of that for sure. 1522 01:11:03,902 --> 01:11:06,136 - Dude. - Lone peak. 1523 01:11:06,138 --> 01:11:07,770 Meet you guys up there, 1524 01:11:07,772 --> 01:11:09,908 right there in your face, can't miss it. 1525 01:11:14,012 --> 01:11:15,846 [Alan panting] 1526 01:11:15,848 --> 01:11:18,014 I'm thinking you maybe should go next. 1527 01:11:18,016 --> 01:11:18,884 I'll spot you. 1528 01:11:20,618 --> 01:11:21,920 I always liked you, Alan. 1529 01:11:32,998 --> 01:11:36,367 - [takes a deep breath] Hey. - Howdy, princess. 1530 01:11:37,135 --> 01:11:38,667 Alan's getting pretty gassed, I think. 1531 01:11:38,669 --> 01:11:39,938 You mean step daddy dick pic? 1532 01:11:40,973 --> 01:11:42,838 You got short term memory loss? 1533 01:11:42,840 --> 01:11:45,574 I'm not sitting around playing pretend with that little perv, dude. 1534 01:11:45,576 --> 01:11:48,546 I was actually starting to think it might be nice to have him around, you know? 1535 01:11:50,514 --> 01:11:51,649 Well, you want the truth? 1536 01:11:52,885 --> 01:11:54,086 No time like the present. 1537 01:11:55,753 --> 01:11:57,486 Hey, boys, there it is. 1538 01:11:57,488 --> 01:11:59,157 The lone peak just as described. 1539 01:12:00,524 --> 01:12:02,893 Whew, good lord. 1540 01:12:02,895 --> 01:12:06,029 - Hey, buddy. - Hello, Tim. 1541 01:12:06,031 --> 01:12:09,067 Wasn't, uh, expecting you there. 1542 01:12:09,800 --> 01:12:12,168 Do you, uh, do you need something? 1543 01:12:12,170 --> 01:12:13,937 Me? No. 1544 01:12:13,939 --> 01:12:14,805 No, I'm good. 1545 01:12:16,341 --> 01:12:19,677 Yeah, I just didn't know if there was anything you wanted to share with us? 1546 01:12:21,046 --> 01:12:23,712 Uh, I don't know what you're referring to. 1547 01:12:23,714 --> 01:12:25,215 Nothing you want to get off your chest? 1548 01:12:25,217 --> 01:12:27,984 Maybe let us in the loop on? 1549 01:12:27,986 --> 01:12:31,620 Um, oh, okay. 1550 01:12:31,622 --> 01:12:32,721 Yeah, you got me. 1551 01:12:32,723 --> 01:12:34,757 - You have no idea. - No, you're right. 1552 01:12:34,759 --> 01:12:37,160 I mean, I shouldn't have tried to keep it to myself. 1553 01:12:37,162 --> 01:12:40,796 Yeah, I'm saving it for your mom and I, for this weekend. 1554 01:12:40,798 --> 01:12:43,866 - What? - Yeah, it's a Thai stick. But we... 1555 01:12:43,868 --> 01:12:46,169 I don't give a shit about your shitty little joint, Alan! 1556 01:12:46,171 --> 01:12:48,639 I want you to tell us right now if you've been cheating on our mom. 1557 01:12:50,175 --> 01:12:51,776 - Cheating? - [Kevin] We're brothers in a guild. 1558 01:12:53,011 --> 01:12:54,010 How could you? 1559 01:12:54,012 --> 01:12:55,544 [Alan scoffs] 1560 01:12:55,546 --> 01:12:57,082 You guys think that I was cheating on your mother? 1561 01:12:57,815 --> 01:13:00,118 Read my lips. 1562 01:13:04,189 --> 01:13:07,925 [grunting] 1563 01:13:09,027 --> 01:13:10,628 [screaming] 1564 01:13:11,163 --> 01:13:13,829 - What? - What do you mean, what? 1565 01:13:13,831 --> 01:13:16,099 Well, you said read your lips, and then you picked up a rock, 1566 01:13:16,101 --> 01:13:17,267 and you threw it, and you hit a... 1567 01:13:17,269 --> 01:13:18,268 I know what I said! 1568 01:13:18,270 --> 01:13:19,635 I think what he's trying to say, 1569 01:13:19,637 --> 01:13:21,271 Alan, is we just want to make sure 1570 01:13:21,273 --> 01:13:23,906 that you're fully committed to Mom, and there's not, like, 1571 01:13:23,908 --> 01:13:26,608 some other stuff out there, kind of floating around. 1572 01:13:26,610 --> 01:13:28,144 You might want to tell us about and be honest. 1573 01:13:28,146 --> 01:13:29,145 Well, the answer is, 1574 01:13:29,147 --> 01:13:30,913 there's absolutely no one besides your mother 1575 01:13:30,915 --> 01:13:31,880 that I would like to spend 1576 01:13:31,882 --> 01:13:33,083 even a second of the rest of my life with. 1577 01:13:33,085 --> 01:13:36,186 That's really the way I feel, and I don't appreciate you... 1578 01:13:36,188 --> 01:13:38,587 You're so full of shit, dude. 1579 01:13:38,589 --> 01:13:39,955 - Guys, what is this? - Don't be such an asshole, man. 1580 01:13:39,957 --> 01:13:41,992 You know what you did, just admit it. 1581 01:13:41,994 --> 01:13:45,097 I honestly have no idea what you guys are talking about. Kevin? 1582 01:13:45,930 --> 01:13:50,233 I'm so confused because you're such a great guy, Alan, 1583 01:13:50,235 --> 01:13:54,039 and you're, like, pretty much my best friend... 1584 01:13:55,140 --> 01:13:57,042 but the pictures on your phone. 1585 01:13:59,677 --> 01:14:00,709 What? 1586 01:14:00,711 --> 01:14:02,680 You heard what he said, we know. 1587 01:14:06,118 --> 01:14:09,052 Guys, come on, that's something that I can explain if you want... 1588 01:14:09,054 --> 01:14:11,154 We don't need your Goddamn explanation, man. 1589 01:14:11,156 --> 01:14:13,123 Okay, we just want you to get the hell out of here 1590 01:14:13,125 --> 01:14:14,357 and leave our family alone. 1591 01:14:14,359 --> 01:14:15,358 You know, if you would stop 1592 01:14:15,360 --> 01:14:17,993 this macho barbarian bullshit for one second 1593 01:14:17,995 --> 01:14:20,298 and just listen to what I have to say, I can explain this. 1594 01:14:21,366 --> 01:14:25,137 [sobbing] You leave my mom alone. 1595 01:14:26,371 --> 01:14:30,373 She's already married to someone who even if he is six feet underground, 1596 01:14:30,375 --> 01:14:32,610 is more of a man than you'll ever be. 1597 01:14:34,046 --> 01:14:36,148 Okay, okay. 1598 01:14:39,217 --> 01:14:40,218 That's fine. 1599 01:14:46,324 --> 01:14:50,226 You know, I know that I'll never be 1600 01:14:50,228 --> 01:14:52,095 what you guys want me to be, 1601 01:14:52,097 --> 01:14:54,029 but did you ever think for even a second 1602 01:14:54,031 --> 01:14:56,199 that maybe your dad wasn't perfect? 1603 01:14:56,201 --> 01:14:58,068 Maybe that he actually had some problems of his own? 1604 01:14:58,070 --> 01:15:00,203 - Careful, man. - You're old enough to know this, 1605 01:15:00,205 --> 01:15:01,404 that this impossible standard 1606 01:15:01,406 --> 01:15:04,076 that you're holding me to is not real. 1607 01:15:05,042 --> 01:15:07,210 Why don't you ask your mom what really happened? 1608 01:15:07,212 --> 01:15:09,814 - What are you talking about? - I'm talking about your dad, Tim. 1609 01:15:10,915 --> 01:15:12,350 He didn't have cancer, okay? 1610 01:15:14,885 --> 01:15:16,053 It was liver failure. 1611 01:15:17,021 --> 01:15:18,055 He was an alcoholic. 1612 01:15:19,191 --> 01:15:21,124 But so what? 1613 01:15:21,126 --> 01:15:22,225 I mean, that doesn't change the fact 1614 01:15:22,227 --> 01:15:24,127 that he was a great dad. 1615 01:15:24,129 --> 01:15:25,694 But this superhuman person 1616 01:15:25,696 --> 01:15:28,897 that you guys keep comparing me to doesn't exist. 1617 01:15:28,899 --> 01:15:30,732 He was broken just like the rest of us, 1618 01:15:30,734 --> 01:15:33,338 and you made him out to be this person that... 1619 01:15:35,307 --> 01:15:36,208 Get out. 1620 01:15:37,875 --> 01:15:39,377 - [Alan] I'm... - Just go! 1621 01:15:43,047 --> 01:15:45,850 [birds chirping] 1622 01:15:58,230 --> 01:16:01,932 [light piano music] 1623 01:16:15,447 --> 01:16:18,046 - Shit. - What? 1624 01:16:18,048 --> 01:16:19,184 Alan had the poles. 1625 01:16:22,454 --> 01:16:23,754 [sighs] 1626 01:16:30,895 --> 01:16:31,929 [Alan sighs] 1627 01:16:35,766 --> 01:16:37,868 [leaves rustling] 1628 01:16:40,272 --> 01:16:41,906 Cirrus cloud. 1629 01:16:45,109 --> 01:16:46,909 It's more of a stratus. 1630 01:16:46,911 --> 01:16:49,144 See, it's flat on top. 1631 01:16:49,146 --> 01:16:50,014 [Adam] Hmm. 1632 01:16:54,151 --> 01:16:56,319 You think it's true what Alan said about Dad? 1633 01:16:56,321 --> 01:16:57,855 I don't know. 1634 01:16:59,957 --> 01:17:01,859 Even if it was, what would it change? 1635 01:17:03,894 --> 01:17:04,762 Everything. 1636 01:17:05,630 --> 01:17:07,796 He could've still been here with us. 1637 01:17:07,798 --> 01:17:09,900 It would've been his fault that he's not. 1638 01:17:10,768 --> 01:17:12,204 He could've given us more time. 1639 01:17:15,172 --> 01:17:16,040 Yeah. 1640 01:17:20,110 --> 01:17:21,446 It's crazy, you know... 1641 01:17:23,847 --> 01:17:25,350 to see all your friends grow up... 1642 01:17:27,918 --> 01:17:30,888 get to know their parents, you know, as people or whatever. 1643 01:17:31,389 --> 01:17:33,425 We're never going to get that with Dad. 1644 01:17:34,992 --> 01:17:39,063 He's just, always going to be a kid version. 1645 01:17:41,065 --> 01:17:43,832 I know, like, a lot of that stuff is shitty or whatever, 1646 01:17:43,834 --> 01:17:47,104 but I just wish he could see us as men, you know? 1647 01:17:49,139 --> 01:17:51,909 I know after 12 years we should be over it or whatever, but.. 1648 01:17:55,179 --> 01:17:58,283 I still miss him, every day. 1649 01:18:01,319 --> 01:18:03,120 This new guy comes in and... 1650 01:18:04,556 --> 01:18:05,956 [sniffs] 1651 01:18:07,592 --> 01:18:08,993 I just want Dad. 1652 01:18:11,529 --> 01:18:12,397 Me, too. 1653 01:18:13,197 --> 01:18:14,098 Me, three. 1654 01:18:16,401 --> 01:18:18,035 I do want Mom to be happy though. 1655 01:18:19,504 --> 01:18:21,238 Well, maybe she'll find another guy next year. 1656 01:18:22,440 --> 01:18:24,039 Imagine if we had a year to plan? 1657 01:18:24,041 --> 01:18:27,111 Dude, [laughing] you're such a dick. 1658 01:18:28,513 --> 01:18:32,983 You guys might hate me, but I'm going to miss Alan. 1659 01:18:34,619 --> 01:18:37,021 He was nice to have around. [sniffs] 1660 01:18:37,555 --> 01:18:41,459 I know, Kevin, he's not who we thought he was. 1661 01:18:44,429 --> 01:18:46,298 I'm sure Mom will find somebody else. 1662 01:18:48,966 --> 01:18:50,568 Yeah, you're probably right. 1663 01:18:52,537 --> 01:18:55,205 [light piano music] 1664 01:18:55,607 --> 01:18:58,206 Ants, ants, ants! 1665 01:18:58,208 --> 01:19:01,644 - Oh, oh shit. - Dammit, Kevin! 1666 01:19:01,646 --> 01:19:02,880 There's no ants, dude. 1667 01:19:06,083 --> 01:19:09,151 [car engine rumbling] 1668 01:19:09,153 --> 01:19:10,087 What did you do? 1669 01:19:11,989 --> 01:19:13,957 I may or may not have sent the, uh... 1670 01:19:17,061 --> 01:19:19,798 I was blinded by rage. There's no way of knowing for sure. 1671 01:19:28,238 --> 01:19:32,140 - Sweetie, I tried calling you all last night. - [Theresa] Stay away from me! 1672 01:19:32,142 --> 01:19:35,210 [crying] I don't want to hear it from you, I just want you to go. 1673 01:19:35,212 --> 01:19:37,112 But babe, I can totally explain those pictures. 1674 01:19:37,114 --> 01:19:38,980 Do not call me babe! 1675 01:19:38,982 --> 01:19:42,217 - I thought you were a decent man. - I am a decent man. 1676 01:19:42,219 --> 01:19:43,619 No, no, no, save it! 1677 01:19:43,621 --> 01:19:45,987 God, I should've known. 1678 01:19:45,989 --> 01:19:49,224 I never should've gotten involved with you. [sobbing] 1679 01:19:49,226 --> 01:19:52,127 I found the love of my life once, 1680 01:19:52,129 --> 01:19:53,997 that should've been enough. 1681 01:19:55,299 --> 01:19:57,999 [sobbing] 1682 01:19:58,001 --> 01:20:01,136 I need you to stay away from my boys, just...- 1683 01:20:01,138 --> 01:20:03,073 just stay away from them! 1684 01:20:04,041 --> 01:20:05,610 Kevin, get in the car! 1685 01:20:06,378 --> 01:20:08,176 But I don't... I don't have my stuff. 1686 01:20:08,178 --> 01:20:11,915 [Theresa] No, Timmy and Adam will bring it. Get in the car, now! 1687 01:20:13,984 --> 01:20:15,052 See you, Kevin. 1688 01:20:28,433 --> 01:20:33,070 [light acoustic guitar music] 1689 01:20:36,273 --> 01:20:40,041 ♪ Little one crying his teeth push through ♪ 1690 01:20:40,043 --> 01:20:42,414 ♪ Little one learning a thing or two ♪ 1691 01:20:43,415 --> 01:20:46,418 ♪ Let him go this time just let him fall ♪ 1692 01:20:47,050 --> 01:20:50,053 ♪ How're you going to learn to climb up from your crawl ♪ 1693 01:20:50,688 --> 01:20:54,457 ♪ Love for you is so deep and is wide ♪ 1694 01:20:54,459 --> 01:20:57,527 ♪ One day you're going to have to walk away from outside ♪ 1695 01:20:57,529 --> 01:20:59,396 ♪ And your tears ♪ 1696 01:21:01,131 --> 01:21:04,767 ♪ And your tears are just growing pains ♪ 1697 01:21:04,769 --> 01:21:06,403 ♪ And your tears ♪ 1698 01:21:08,640 --> 01:21:12,242 ♪ And your tears are just growing pains ♪ 1699 01:21:13,076 --> 01:21:15,647 ♪ Awkward one growing tall ♪ 1700 01:21:16,581 --> 01:21:19,549 ♪ Yeah, one day you're goin' see it all ♪ 1701 01:21:19,551 --> 01:21:22,785 ♪ But for now, love is young and you found someone ♪ 1702 01:21:22,787 --> 01:21:25,956 ♪ And your heart, it overflows ♪ 1703 01:21:27,157 --> 01:21:29,561 ♪ But your heart it doesn't know ♪ 1704 01:21:30,462 --> 01:21:35,163 ♪ That most good things in this life, they end ♪ 1705 01:21:35,165 --> 01:21:37,065 ♪ And some things in this world ♪ 1706 01:21:37,067 --> 01:21:39,471 ♪ They just don't bend to some greater hope ♪ 1707 01:21:40,505 --> 01:21:44,208 ♪ But hope doesn't hold a flame but just letting go ♪ 1708 01:21:45,477 --> 01:21:47,411 ♪ And your heartbreak ♪ 1709 01:21:49,213 --> 01:21:52,715 ♪ Your heartbreak is just growin' pains ♪ 1710 01:21:52,717 --> 01:21:54,384 ♪ Your heartbreak ♪ 1711 01:21:57,321 --> 01:21:59,755 Do you suffer from erectile dysfunction? 1712 01:21:59,757 --> 01:22:02,390 Have you suffered horrible side effects 1713 01:22:02,392 --> 01:22:04,392 from brand name treatments? 1714 01:22:04,394 --> 01:22:06,294 If you're ready to try something different 1715 01:22:06,296 --> 01:22:11,066 and get your sex life back, call me, Dr. Sheila Sterns today. 1716 01:22:11,068 --> 01:22:13,769 You can call anytime, day or night. 1717 01:22:13,771 --> 01:22:16,674 Or call our 24 hour hotline, I will pick up. 1718 01:22:18,375 --> 01:22:19,376 Oh, shit. 1719 01:22:22,614 --> 01:22:23,648 Oh, shit. 1720 01:22:25,850 --> 01:22:28,786 [phone ringing] 1721 01:22:31,288 --> 01:22:33,390 - What's up, bro? - [Adam] Sheila is a dick doctor. 1722 01:22:35,158 --> 01:22:36,559 - Shut up. - No, dude. 1723 01:22:36,561 --> 01:22:40,530 I just literally saw a commercial on TV. I called the hotline, 1724 01:22:40,532 --> 01:22:42,264 and they said you could literally 1725 01:22:42,266 --> 01:22:44,466 send her a picture of your penis. 1726 01:22:44,468 --> 01:22:46,401 Think about it, he sends a picture. 1727 01:22:46,403 --> 01:22:49,237 She says, "That's so big, you need to come in right now." 1728 01:22:49,239 --> 01:22:51,206 Holy shit, you're right. 1729 01:22:51,208 --> 01:22:52,140 What are we going to do? 1730 01:22:52,142 --> 01:22:54,077 Well, we got to fix it, now. 1731 01:22:54,612 --> 01:22:55,510 What time are you up in the morning? 1732 01:22:55,512 --> 01:22:56,746 Don't you have classes or something? 1733 01:22:56,748 --> 01:22:57,647 Dude, I've had enough credits 1734 01:22:57,649 --> 01:22:59,615 to graduate for a year and a half. 1735 01:22:59,617 --> 01:23:02,685 Wow, uh, okay. 1736 01:23:02,687 --> 01:23:06,288 Um, so are you going to, like, use your degree for your job or? 1737 01:23:06,290 --> 01:23:07,890 - Don't push it, bro. - Right, right, right. 1738 01:23:07,892 --> 01:23:10,626 - What time? - Uh, how 'about seven? Pick you up at seven? 1739 01:23:10,628 --> 01:23:12,462 - Be here at four. - That's in, like, an hour. 1740 01:23:16,834 --> 01:23:19,869 I knew it, I knew Alan would never send sex mails 1741 01:23:19,871 --> 01:23:21,003 to some woman named Sheila. 1742 01:23:21,005 --> 01:23:24,205 Yeah, Kevin, I think we all got a little carried away. 1743 01:23:24,207 --> 01:23:25,641 Now, if it were Katie. 1744 01:23:25,643 --> 01:23:28,243 Stop talking about my wife. Here's the plan. 1745 01:23:28,245 --> 01:23:29,544 Kevin, you know Alan better than anybody, 1746 01:23:29,546 --> 01:23:31,246 so you and Tim are going to go find him, 1747 01:23:31,248 --> 01:23:32,848 apologize, and bring him back here. 1748 01:23:32,850 --> 01:23:34,584 Apologize? 1749 01:23:34,586 --> 01:23:36,184 I don't know what that means. 1750 01:23:36,186 --> 01:23:37,720 Just do it, asshole. 1751 01:23:37,722 --> 01:23:38,790 Sounds good to me. 1752 01:23:41,926 --> 01:23:43,759 - Let's do it. - Put the sword down, Kev. 1753 01:23:43,761 --> 01:23:45,828 So, where are we going? 1754 01:23:45,830 --> 01:23:48,465 It's 11:30, Tuesday afternoon. 1755 01:23:49,634 --> 01:23:51,266 Do I have to spell it out for you? 1756 01:23:51,268 --> 01:23:52,434 From the top and punch. 1757 01:23:52,436 --> 01:23:53,803 Yes, oh, you're doing so good. 1758 01:23:53,805 --> 01:23:55,638 Show me that body, yes! 1759 01:23:55,640 --> 01:23:57,940 Knee, double knee, harder, harder, Leslie! 1760 01:23:57,942 --> 01:23:59,474 Harder, not that hard, Leslie. 1761 01:23:59,476 --> 01:24:01,576 Don't poop on the floor, don't poop on the floor. 1762 01:24:01,578 --> 01:24:03,511 Elbow, one, two. Do it again. 1763 01:24:03,513 --> 01:24:05,681 If somebody comes to attack you, what do you do? 1764 01:24:05,683 --> 01:24:07,950 We take it from the punch and over. 1765 01:24:07,952 --> 01:24:09,752 And over, keep going, yes! 1766 01:24:09,754 --> 01:24:12,287 Up, yes, keep going. 1767 01:24:12,289 --> 01:24:14,589 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God! 1768 01:24:14,591 --> 01:24:16,591 - Whoa! - No, no! 1769 01:24:16,593 --> 01:24:20,362 - [screaming] - I don't think I'm ready to die, please don't, I'm innocent! 1770 01:24:20,364 --> 01:24:24,134 - Oh, my God. - Go down, Mimi boy. 1771 01:24:24,969 --> 01:24:26,669 Oh, my God, oh, my God! 1772 01:24:26,671 --> 01:24:29,506 [Kevin] This is normal! This is normal! 1773 01:24:30,207 --> 01:24:32,908 Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up! 1774 01:24:32,910 --> 01:24:34,342 [screaming] 1775 01:24:34,344 --> 01:24:37,147 [groaning] 1776 01:24:40,685 --> 01:24:43,286 Seven, eight, and one, and two. 1777 01:24:47,424 --> 01:24:49,459 - Yeah. So. - [Theresa sighs] 1778 01:24:50,427 --> 01:24:53,628 Well, I feel like a B-I-T-C-H. 1779 01:24:53,630 --> 01:24:54,629 It's not your fault. 1780 01:24:54,631 --> 01:24:56,266 You know, we kind of set you up. 1781 01:24:56,968 --> 01:24:58,834 The good news is, now things can go back 1782 01:24:58,836 --> 01:25:00,568 to the way they were before, you know? 1783 01:25:00,570 --> 01:25:02,537 You really think he's going to take me back after me 1784 01:25:02,539 --> 01:25:07,509 treating him like a sexual predator for three weeks? 1785 01:25:07,511 --> 01:25:08,744 Yeah, totally. 1786 01:25:08,746 --> 01:25:12,247 - [Tim] Chill, it's okay, we're helping. - What the hell? 1787 01:25:12,249 --> 01:25:13,716 - [Alan grunting] - You can breathe, 1788 01:25:13,718 --> 01:25:15,851 if you can talk, you can breathe. 1789 01:25:15,853 --> 01:25:17,720 Okay, okay, okay. 1790 01:25:17,722 --> 01:25:20,255 - [Alan grunting] - Sorry, Al. 1791 01:25:20,257 --> 01:25:21,556 Oh, that's okay. 1792 01:25:21,558 --> 01:25:23,695 - Oh, sweetie. - So, happy family, huh? 1793 01:25:24,494 --> 01:25:25,828 - Listen... - Look... 1794 01:25:25,830 --> 01:25:27,562 No, you start. 1795 01:25:27,564 --> 01:25:32,001 I am so sorry, I feel like a complete fool. 1796 01:25:32,003 --> 01:25:35,472 - If you want nothing to do with me, I completely... - Shh, shh, shh. 1797 01:25:36,007 --> 01:25:38,673 I waited 53 years to find someone to fall in love with. 1798 01:25:38,675 --> 01:25:40,475 I don't think I have another 53 years 1799 01:25:40,477 --> 01:25:42,544 to wait to see if it happens again. [laughs] 1800 01:25:42,546 --> 01:25:44,013 I love you. 1801 01:25:44,015 --> 01:25:46,249 - I love you. - Mm. 1802 01:25:49,821 --> 01:25:51,453 Cut him free, dude. 1803 01:25:51,455 --> 01:25:53,555 What, so they can do whatever they want with their hands? 1804 01:25:53,557 --> 01:25:55,024 No dice, bro. 1805 01:25:55,026 --> 01:25:56,326 Let's go. 1806 01:25:57,627 --> 01:25:59,661 ♪ Oh, you see I could be anything ♪ 1807 01:25:59,663 --> 01:26:01,496 ♪ You want me to be ♪ 1808 01:26:01,498 --> 01:26:04,767 ♪ But I truly am just nothing without you baby ♪ 1809 01:26:04,769 --> 01:26:06,369 Happy family. 1810 01:26:07,004 --> 01:26:08,773 [door creaks] 1811 01:26:15,445 --> 01:26:18,582 [wedding bells music] 1812 01:26:23,087 --> 01:26:25,957 [smooth jazzy music] 1813 01:26:28,059 --> 01:26:30,025 - Go! - [laughing] 1814 01:26:30,027 --> 01:26:32,696 - It's okay. - [laughing] 1815 01:26:37,334 --> 01:26:38,468 - Hey. - Hey, Kev. 1816 01:26:39,469 --> 01:26:40,570 What happened to the cape? 1817 01:26:42,539 --> 01:26:43,775 I don't need it anymore. 1818 01:26:47,577 --> 01:26:48,678 To Alan. 1819 01:26:49,113 --> 01:26:50,280 To Dad. 1820 01:26:51,681 --> 01:26:52,682 To family. 1821 01:26:58,522 --> 01:27:00,490 [Christy clears throat] Hey, Tim. 1822 01:27:01,591 --> 01:27:02,927 She's right behind me, isn't she? 1823 01:27:04,095 --> 01:27:06,528 - Christy. - I was just coming over to say hi, 1824 01:27:06,530 --> 01:27:07,997 and see how you're doing. 1825 01:27:07,999 --> 01:27:09,564 - Really good. - Good. 1826 01:27:09,566 --> 01:27:11,000 Uh, your mom said college is going great. 1827 01:27:11,002 --> 01:27:13,468 Yeah. [chuckles] 1828 01:27:13,470 --> 01:27:16,404 She keeps talking about it. [laughs] 1829 01:27:16,406 --> 01:27:21,311 Um, all right, well, have a good night. 1830 01:27:23,713 --> 01:27:24,581 You, too. 1831 01:27:26,884 --> 01:27:27,751 Hold this. 1832 01:27:28,718 --> 01:27:30,353 I thought she was gross? 1833 01:27:30,888 --> 01:27:32,787 [Tim] Don't be stupid. 1834 01:27:32,789 --> 01:27:33,925 She's the perfect woman. 1835 01:27:34,926 --> 01:27:37,059 That's why I could never be with her. 1836 01:27:37,061 --> 01:27:38,062 It'd be all over. 1837 01:27:39,696 --> 01:27:40,697 So? 1838 01:27:42,166 --> 01:27:43,868 I don't know, maybe it's too late. 1839 01:27:44,801 --> 01:27:47,571 Kevin, tell him what you told me. 1840 01:27:49,606 --> 01:27:52,074 The only place where dreams become impossible 1841 01:27:52,076 --> 01:27:53,643 is in your own mind. 1842 01:27:56,613 --> 01:27:57,480 Go get them. 1843 01:27:59,884 --> 01:28:03,020 [smooth jazzy music] 1844 01:28:06,090 --> 01:28:07,490 [Tim clears throat] 1845 01:28:09,060 --> 01:28:09,927 Hey, um... 1846 01:28:10,928 --> 01:28:12,930 - I think she has a boyfriend. - Oh, yeah. Yeah. 1847 01:28:14,899 --> 01:28:16,766 Let's just let it play out. 1848 01:28:18,602 --> 01:28:21,070 - I kept those letters. - [laughing] 1849 01:28:21,072 --> 01:28:23,105 Oh, I'm sure they're awful. 1850 01:28:23,107 --> 01:28:25,375 Pretty good, one in particular was like... 1851 01:28:26,810 --> 01:28:31,082 "Roses are red, violets are blue, I want to kiss you." 1852 01:28:31,883 --> 01:28:33,481 Okay, um... 1853 01:28:33,483 --> 01:28:35,885 Hey, hey, that's my girlfriend, you son of a bitch! 1854 01:28:35,887 --> 01:28:37,152 It's too late, it's too late! 1855 01:28:37,154 --> 01:28:39,054 - Not now, Christy. - Stop, stop, stop. 1856 01:28:39,056 --> 01:28:40,155 Andrew! 1857 01:28:40,157 --> 01:28:42,126 [chuckling] 1858 01:28:45,229 --> 01:28:49,664 [grunting] 1859 01:28:49,666 --> 01:28:52,201 No, no, no, no. Go to sleep, go to sleep. 1860 01:28:52,203 --> 01:28:54,537 Go, buddy, go, go, go. 1861 01:28:56,473 --> 01:28:57,772 [laughing] 1862 01:28:57,774 --> 01:29:00,209 That's two, well, let's party! 1863 01:29:00,211 --> 01:29:02,211 - [cheering] - ♪ Ooh, that's right ♪ 1864 01:29:02,213 --> 01:29:04,246 ♪ I bust a move up tonight ♪ 1865 01:29:04,248 --> 01:29:06,115 ♪ Oh, I know ♪ 1866 01:29:06,117 --> 01:29:08,150 ♪ When my feet come up off the floor ♪ 1867 01:29:08,152 --> 01:29:09,584 ♪ I'm hooked ♪ 1868 01:29:09,586 --> 01:29:10,920 ♪ I leave tonight ♪ 1869 01:29:10,922 --> 01:29:12,922 ♪ It's just my heartache ♪ 1870 01:29:12,924 --> 01:29:14,756 ♪ No, my baby don't lie ♪ 1871 01:29:14,758 --> 01:29:16,591 ♪ It's just her own way ♪ 1872 01:29:16,593 --> 01:29:17,592 ♪ Hooked ♪ 1873 01:29:17,594 --> 01:29:18,893 ♪ Don't leave me behind ♪ 1874 01:29:18,895 --> 01:29:20,963 ♪ You know, it's our time ♪ 1875 01:29:20,965 --> 01:29:25,633 ♪ Come on, baby, let's dance until the moonrise ♪ 1876 01:29:25,635 --> 01:29:27,769 ♪ She's strutting up like magic ♪ 1877 01:29:27,771 --> 01:29:29,837 ♪ Strike a chord within my soul ♪ 1878 01:29:29,839 --> 01:29:31,773 ♪ I feel like my love's a loaded gun ♪ 1879 01:29:31,775 --> 01:29:33,808 ♪ Just ready to explode, whoa ♪ 1880 01:29:33,810 --> 01:29:35,910 ♪ I'm picking up the pieces ♪ 1881 01:29:35,912 --> 01:29:37,845 ♪ Try to connect the dots ♪ 1882 01:29:37,847 --> 01:29:39,814 ♪ I got to leave it up to someday ♪ 1883 01:29:39,816 --> 01:29:41,283 ♪ Before I can show the moves I got ♪ 1884 01:29:41,285 --> 01:29:42,817 ♪ Girl, my heart ♪ 1885 01:29:42,819 --> 01:29:45,020 ♪ Yeah, I got this feeling ♪ 1886 01:29:45,022 --> 01:29:47,022 ♪ Come on love is going to steal it ♪ 1887 01:29:47,024 --> 01:29:48,123 ♪ Ooh, baby ♪ 1888 01:29:48,125 --> 01:29:49,724 ♪ Now, I just can't think straight no more ♪ 1889 01:29:49,726 --> 01:29:51,226 ♪ Ooh, that's right ♪ 1890 01:29:51,228 --> 01:29:53,295 ♪ I bust a move up tonight ♪ 1891 01:29:53,297 --> 01:29:55,230 ♪ Oh, I know ♪ 1892 01:29:55,232 --> 01:29:57,166 ♪ When my feet come up off the floor ♪ 1893 01:29:57,168 --> 01:29:58,700 ♪ I'm hooked ♪ 1894 01:29:58,702 --> 01:29:59,901 ♪ I leave tonight ♪ 1895 01:29:59,903 --> 01:30:02,037 ♪ It's just my heartache ♪ 1896 01:30:02,039 --> 01:30:03,871 ♪ No, my baby don't lie ♪ 1897 01:30:03,873 --> 01:30:05,773 ♪ It's just her own way ♪ 1898 01:30:05,775 --> 01:30:07,977 - ♪ Hooked ♪ - ♪ Don't leave me behind ♪ 1899 01:30:07,979 --> 01:30:09,911 ♪ You know it's our time ♪ 1900 01:30:09,913 --> 01:30:13,948 ♪ Come on, baby, let's dance until the moonrise ♪ 1901 01:30:13,950 --> 01:30:16,118 - ♪ Hooked ♪ - ♪ I leave tonight ♪ 1902 01:30:16,120 --> 01:30:17,952 ♪ It's just my heartache ♪ 1903 01:30:17,954 --> 01:30:20,155 ♪ No, my baby don't lie ♪ 1904 01:30:20,157 --> 01:30:22,057 ♪ It's just her own way ♪ 1905 01:30:22,059 --> 01:30:23,025 ♪ Hooked ♪ 1906 01:30:23,027 --> 01:30:24,559 ♪ Don't leave me behind ♪ 1907 01:30:24,561 --> 01:30:26,261 ♪ You know it's our time ♪ 1908 01:30:26,263 --> 01:30:30,598 ♪ Don't act baby, let's dance until the moonlight ♪ 1909 01:30:30,600 --> 01:30:32,067 ♪ Oh, that's right ♪ 1910 01:30:32,069 --> 01:30:34,635 ♪ I 'll bust a move up tonight, that's right ♪ 1911 01:30:34,637 --> 01:30:35,903 ♪ Oh, I know ♪ 1912 01:30:35,905 --> 01:30:38,639 ♪ My feet come up off the floor ♪ 1913 01:30:38,641 --> 01:30:40,309 ♪ Who girl, that's right ♪ 1914 01:30:40,311 --> 01:30:42,744 ♪ I'll bust a move up tonight ♪ 1915 01:30:42,746 --> 01:30:44,279 ♪ Oh, I know ♪ 1916 01:30:44,281 --> 01:30:46,781 ♪ You know, my feet come up off the floor ♪ 1917 01:30:46,783 --> 01:30:49,084 ♪ Oh, that's right oh, I know ♪ 1918 01:30:49,086 --> 01:30:50,852 ♪ My feet come up off the floor ♪ 1919 01:30:50,854 --> 01:30:55,024 ♪ Oh, that's right ♪ 1920 01:30:55,026 --> 01:30:59,028 ♪ I'll bust a move up tonight ♪ 1921 01:30:59,030 --> 01:31:00,728 ♪ Oh, I know ♪ 1922 01:31:00,730 --> 01:31:03,098 ♪ My feet come up off the floor ♪ 1923 01:31:03,100 --> 01:31:05,600 ♪ I leave tonight ♪ 1924 01:31:05,602 --> 01:31:07,602 ♪ It's just a heartache ♪ 1925 01:31:07,604 --> 01:31:09,371 ♪ No, my baby don't lie ♪ 1926 01:31:09,373 --> 01:31:11,373 ♪ It's just her own way ♪ 1927 01:31:11,375 --> 01:31:13,908 - ♪ Hooked ♪ - ♪ Don't leave me behind ♪ 1928 01:31:13,910 --> 01:31:14,976 ♪ My baby don't lie ♪ 1929 01:31:14,978 --> 01:31:17,279 ♪ You know, it's all right ♪ 1930 01:31:17,281 --> 01:31:20,349 ♪ Let's dance until the moonlight, whoa ♪ 1931 01:31:20,351 --> 01:31:23,618 ♪ I leave tonight it's just my heartache ♪ 1932 01:31:23,620 --> 01:31:25,887 ♪ No, my baby don't lie ♪ 1933 01:31:25,889 --> 01:31:27,789 ♪ It's just her own way ♪ 1934 01:31:27,791 --> 01:31:28,756 ♪ Hooked ♪ 1935 01:31:28,758 --> 01:31:30,159 ♪ Don't leave me behind ♪ 1936 01:31:30,161 --> 01:31:32,094 ♪ You know it sounds right ♪ 1937 01:31:32,096 --> 01:31:35,963 ♪ Baby, let's dance until the moonlight ♪ 1938 01:31:35,965 --> 01:31:40,302 - ♪ Hooked ♪ - ♪ I leave tonight it's just my heartache ♪ 1939 01:31:40,304 --> 01:31:44,139 ♪ My baby don't lie it's just her own way ♪ 1940 01:31:44,141 --> 01:31:46,341 ♪ Don't leave me behind ♪ 1941 01:31:46,343 --> 01:31:48,243 ♪ You know it's our time ♪ 1942 01:31:48,245 --> 01:31:52,247 ♪ Baby let's dance until the moonrise ♪ 1943 01:31:52,249 --> 01:31:56,318 - ♪ Hooked ♪ - ♪ I leave tonight it's just my heartache ♪ 1944 01:31:56,320 --> 01:32:00,655 ♪ No, my baby don't lie it's just her own way ♪ 1945 01:32:00,657 --> 01:32:04,692 - ♪ Hooked ♪ - ♪ Don't leave me behind You know it's our time ♪ 1946 01:32:04,694 --> 01:32:09,699 ♪ Come on baby, let's dance until the moonlight ♪ 1947 01:32:30,387 --> 01:32:33,623 ♪ Well, I got habits ♪ 1948 01:32:34,391 --> 01:32:37,194 ♪ Some good, some bad ♪ 1949 01:32:39,696 --> 01:32:44,701 ♪ I like to smoke and drink and see women I've never had ♪ 1950 01:32:47,036 --> 01:32:51,005 ♪ Well, I got habits ♪ 1951 01:32:51,007 --> 01:32:54,211 ♪ Some big, some small ♪ 1952 01:32:56,280 --> 01:33:01,285 ♪ I don't know what it is just the thrill of it all ♪ 1953 01:33:05,021 --> 01:33:09,123 ♪ All my habits haven't killed me yet ♪ 1954 01:33:09,125 --> 01:33:12,760 ♪ I wish I could just stop and forget ♪ 1955 01:33:12,762 --> 01:33:15,830 ♪ At the end of the day ♪ 1956 01:33:15,832 --> 01:33:20,369 ♪ I've indulged them all ♪ 1957 01:33:20,371 --> 01:33:24,073 ♪ Well, I got habits ♪ 1958 01:33:36,786 --> 01:33:40,522 ♪ Well, I got habits ♪ 1959 01:33:40,524 --> 01:33:43,227 ♪ Some good, some bad ♪ 1960 01:33:45,895 --> 01:33:50,900 ♪ I like to play guitar write lyrics, call mom and dad ♪ 1961 01:33:50,902 --> 01:33:53,100 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 1962 01:33:53,102 --> 01:33:54,837 ♪ Well, I got ♪